Jewish World Review Oct. 8, 2010 / 30 Tishrei, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Hillary Clinton denied Wednesday that she wants to be vice president. She loathes the post. She started out in Washington by inspiring so many jokes that people forgot Dan Quayle, she's not about to end her career by inspiring enough jokes to make people forget Joe Biden.
Delaware GOP Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell told the voters in a new TV ad she's not a witch. One-fourth of Americans think the president's a Muslim and a Senate candidate says she's no longer a witch. In just two years Mitt Romney's gone from being an exotic religious outsider to Pilgrim stock.
China's chief astronomer Wang Sichao reversed his previous disbelief in UFOs Tuesday after UFO sightings in China recently shut down airports. What's next won't be pretty. No one knows how many millions of Chinese workers will die building the Great Ceiling.
John Lennon's application form for U.S. residency was seized from an auction house Monday by the FBI, which said it's government property. It's the kind of thing that happens when government bureaucrats with access to records try to make a little extra money. The only reason the Obama birth certificate hasn't been sold is because nobody can find it.
The White House announced Wednesday that President Obama will fly to New Delhi the night after the mid-term elections in November. The reason is obvious. President Obama thinks if he's not at the scene of the crime that the detectives will never finger him for it.
President Obama's flight to India in November is timed so that he'll land on Diwali Night, a climactic night of fireworks during the Hindu Festival of Lights. It's a big mistake. Being greeted as a god in India is no way to convince anybody that he's an Episcopalian.
The Wall Street Journal reports the income of New Yorkers fell for the first time in seventy years this past year. The rich are leaving the state over high taxes. They'd have been blown away by the last hurricane in the Caymans if not for all the gold bars in their suitcases.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton