Jewish World Review Oct. 7, 2010 / 29 Tishrei, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Bob Woodward told CNN Tuesday that Hillary Clinton may be Barack Obama's running mate in the next presidential election. He said that Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden may switch jobs. She will be the vice president and he'll be forgiving Bill every Sunday morning.
Donald Trump admitted Tuesday he's weighing a presidential run in two years. He was encouraged by this week's poll in New Hampshire. Four out of five state residents said they would recommend Donald Trump's seminar on how to get rich by buying foreclosures.
The White House had solar panels installed on the roof over the living quarters Tuesday. Democrats are infatuated with green jobs. California's unemployment would be even worse if not for all the people employed converting vitamin stores into marijuana dispensaries.
President Obama made plans Tuesday to address young voters in an MTV broadcast. He wants to increase the Democratic turnout. If Democrats can generate a high enough voter turnout, they have a chance of turning a deadly avalanche into a killer tidal wave.
Swiss bankers said in Geneva Tuesday that wealthy investors are buying up gold worldwide, which is driving gold prices to an all-time high. Guys in L.A. have begun flashing their wedding rings in nightclubs. That's because women flock to a man worth six figures in this economy.
New York's disgraced former governor Eliot Spitzer's CNN show debuted Monday and he didn't once mention his hooker scandal. Prostitutes get more respect than politicians. No one ever walked up four flights of stairs at three in the morning to see a politician.
Tony Curtis was honored at a jam-packed funeral in Las Vegas Monday, headlined by his pal Arnold Schwarzenegger. They honored Tony's last request and buried him with his Armani scarf, his driving gloves, and his iPhone. An actor never wants to miss a call.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton