Jewish World Review Oct. 6, 2010 / 28 Tishrei, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Obama urged Richmond Democrats Thursday not to give up on his quest to change America. He declared that it took time to free the slaves. It took Americans a hundred years to get past slavery and build a new nation on the backs of illegal aliens.
White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel stepped down Friday to run for mayor of Chicago. His brother Ari Emanuel just happens to be the most powerful agent in Hollywood. If Chicago doesn't elect Rahm mayor, the city will never work in show business again.
The Museum of Journalism in Washington D.C. displayed the suit O.J. Simpson wore the day he was acquitted of double murder. It's a warning to reporters. Never file your story early based on the assumption that there's no way the guy can be found innocent.
New York's disgraced former governor Eliot Spitzer began co-hosting a CNN prime-time talk show with conservative columnist Kathleen Parker. It's a high-wire act. Everyone's surprised he's agreed to work with a woman wearing a wire a second time.
Congress was delivered two million signatures Thursday asking that Jack Daniel's birthday be named a national holiday. The whiskey has special properties. It's not enough for your guests to feel drunk at a Washington D.C. party, they must feel drunk and important.
President Obama told a crowd Thursday the country has turned the corner on the recession. We've turned the corner on the recession, we just turned the corner on unemployment, we just turned the corner on the deficit and we just turned the corner on the war in Afghanistan. We've just turned four corners, we're right back where we started.
Pakistan closed its Afghan border Thursday after NATO troops stormed across the border like it wasn't there in pursuit of al-Qaeda. They're understandably nervous. NATO uses German troops for non-combat purposes, and you never know when a few might break their chains and mistake Pakistan for Poland.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton