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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
Oct. 9, 2009
21 Tishrei 5770
The Hall of Jerks
By
Roger Simon
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Jerks. You know who you are. But why do there seem to be more of them around this year? Or did we always have them, and just not notice them as much?
We notice them now. They intrude upon our lives and must be labeled for what they are.
So others can have their Halls of Fame — we have the Hall of Jerks.
Instead, we are enshrining people who don't actually believe they are jerks. But they are.
There are many kinds of jerks — boors, creeps, doofusses — and many definitions. As a starting point, one from the Urban Dictionary seems both poignant and apt.
A jerk, one contributor wrote, is a "person you really love that just doesn't see how much you care for them and yet, every so often actually treats you good, only to then act completely different from who they were when you first met them."
Enter our first nominee.
1. JOHN EDWARDS. Mere infidelity does not get you in the Hall of Jerks. (We would be overrun.) No, you have to add something a little more slithery. Not even mere hypocrisy gets you in our hall, though Edwards does pin the hypocrisy needle to the wall.
Here is John Edwards on his high horse on Feb. 12, 1999, speaking about Bill Clinton and his affair with Monica Lewinsky.
"I think this president has shown a remarkable disrespect for his office, for the moral dimensions of leadership, for his friends, for his wife, for his precious daughter," Edwards said. "It is breathtaking to me the level to which that disrespect has risen."
But it was Edwards who took our breath away, when he was dealing with his girlfriend Rielle Hunter. According to a story in The New York Times on Sept. 19, "Mr. Edwards once calmed an anxious Ms. Hunter by promising her that after his wife died, he would marry her in a rooftop ceremony in New York with an appearance by the Dave Matthews Band."
As we said, it's not the affair. It's not even the hypocrisy. We just think that anybody who makes promises to his lover about what he is going to do "after his wife dies" is a special kind of jerk.
2. TOM DELAY. Didn't this guy resign his House seat in disgrace after corruption allegations? And prior to that, wasn't he unanimously admonished by the House Ethics Committee for creating "the appearance that donors were being provided with special access"? And isn't he the guy who continues to ally himself with the disgraceful "birther" movement by replying, "I have no idea," when asked if he thought Barack Obama was a citizen?
So why did we have to endure DeLay shaking his booty on "Dancing With the Stars"? We do not wish to see him in sequins and high heels, on TV or off. And isn't "Dancing With the Stars" on during family hour? Don't we have an FCC to save us from such things?
This week, announcing he had stress fractures in both feet, DeLay decided to dance on — just before he decided to drop out.
"I'm insane or stupid — what?" he said. "I can't figure out which."
The envelope, please. Yep, it's like we figured: a toss-up.
3. SHEILA JOHNSON. Think only men can be jerks? Ha! We wish. How else can you explain the behavior of Sheila Johnson, who made fun of Virginia gubernatorial candidate Creigh Deeds for stuttering?
Johnson, the billionaire co-founder of BET, who backs Deeds' Republican opponent, Bob McDonnell, was addressing a group of supporters when she said: "We need someone who can really communicate. And Bob McDonnell can communicate. The other people that I talk to, and especially his op-op-op-op-op-op-opponent di-di-did this all through my interview with him. He could not articulate what needed to be done."
Does Sheila Johnson wag her fingers in the faces of blind people? Does she pretend to have difficulty walking when she sees people with muscular dystrophy? Does she mock people in wheelchairs? We refuse to believe she was raised this way. We believe she developed this unpleasant character flaw on her own.
And when she apologized — two weeks late and only after being caught — she issued a classic non-apology apology. "I shouldn't have done it in the manner in which I did, and for that I apologize for any offense he, or others, may have taken," she said.
Hey, you don't apologize for others taking offense. You apologize for being offensive.
4. DAVID LETTERMAN. We like David Letterman. We think he is very funny and smart and politically informed. He is also tall and rich and good looking, and married to a lovely woman whom he dated for more than 20 years and who is the mother of his 5-year-old son.
So he has to hit on his employees to get dates?
We know he has been very funny about this on TV and has won over a lot of people who now view him as a victim. But we can't help thinking: Did those women employees he hit on really feel they could say no to the boss? And isn't that kind of a jerky thing to do?
So: The Top Ten Reasons David Letterman Should Stop Hitting on the Women Who Work for Him.
10. He is too old.
9. They are too young.
8. The difference between what he did and sexual harassment is ... what exactly?
7. He is a role model for millions of Americans who have insomnia.
6. Even Bill Clinton would have told him not to. (Well, maybe not.)
5. He is in danger of becoming a stupid human trick.
4. Drew Barrymore will never flash him again.
3. He is going to end up with more troubles than a monkey on a rock.
2. Sarah Palin will never put him on the ticket now.
1. He will make the Hall of Jerks.
So that's our freshman class. But we have a feeling we missed a few. Or more than a few. Nominations are now open.
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Roger Simon Archives
© 2009, Creators Syndicate
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