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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

Florida can keep its snakes

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I used to like Florida. Key West and Miami were super fun. Disney World was a blast. The space center wasn't nearly as boring as I thought, plus they sold freeze-dried astronaut ice cream. I liked the orange groves in central Florida, spring training in St. Pete and driving along A1A with Buffett blasting in the background. Yes, Florida was a state with much to offer.


A little too much as it turns out.


According to a report released by the U.S. Geological Survey last week, crazy Floridians have been releasing killer snakes into the wild and they're headed my way. Yep, freakishly huge snakes are leaving Florida's swampy borders and heading north.


What can we do?


Well, I could give you a long, fancypants national-public-radio-induced answer but the short version is, "Bend over and kiss your butt goodbye."


There's no stopping this army of big snakes which, we now know, can produce up to 100 baby snake eggs at a time.


Florida, what is wrong wid chu?


Turns out that owning that cute little Burmese python outlived its fun factor once BP grew up and wound its way around the lanai. What to do? You take the former pet for that ubiquitous long ride in the country. Or, in some cases, the city.


When asked by an NPR reporter if there were actually giant snakes in metropolitan areas like Miami, a scientist said, and this is a di-rect quote: "Yes."


Dude. Let us down easy. You don't just tell somebody that giant pythons are slithering around South Beach. The vapid movie stars who lounge about down there doing the devil's aerobics with everyone but their own spouses probably just think of a boa constrictor as uber Spanx but they're no fashion accessory.


Scientists are, scientifically speaking, "completely freaked out in the head" about this march of the giant snakes northward, squeezing and eating everything in their path. One said he'd peered into the stomachs of hundreds of dead pythons (and you thought your job sucked) and found basically everything except a barcalounger in there.


Turns out there are tens of thousands of pythons in Florida and they're pretty cheesed at being dumped by their idiot owners. Others escaped from pet shops back in '92 during Hurricane Andrew and "have been reproducing ever since." Well. It's not like they had cable any more.


Scientists say these house-sized snakes can climb trees and take out entire species of birds "akin to the situation with brown tree snakes on Guam." Oh, holy Lord! Not the brown tree snakes of Guam! Wait a minute. What?


Scientists say the giant Burmese python in particular could be heading north. Its hobbies include eating everything in its path, reproducing with abandon and TRAVELING LONG DISTANCES.


I am SO not leaving the light on for 'em.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.


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© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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