Jewish World Review Oct. 9, 2009 / 21 Tishrei 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Chrissie Evert announced Monday she and PGA star Greg Norman will divorce. The excitement is building. Chrissie's been married to an Englishman, an American and an Australian, and now she's just a Frenchman short of the Grand Slam Thank You Ma'am.
David Letterman apologized on his show Monday for sleeping with women who work on the program. No one's that mad at him. The Late Show is the only workplace in America that is routinely described as one of those parties that just got out of hand.
Roman Polanski's bail request was denied by a Swiss judge Tuesday who ruled he is a flight risk. He's showing signs of progress. He was accompanied by his wife of fourteen years, which is a year older than the girl who got him in all the trouble.
Tom DeLay danced the samba with a half-naked partner and with a sequined elephant on his shirt on Dancing with the Stars Monday. He didn't win first place but he didn't go home empty-handed. The Log Cabin Republicans just named him an honorary homosexual.
Indonesia began rebuilding after a tsunami hit the islands last week, wreaking havoc on the economy. A strip bar on the beach was totally destroyed by the wave. Things were tough for the first week, but the customers are starting to drift back in.
NBC's Saturday Night Live made news Saturday by doing a sketch showing President Obama admitting he's accomplished nothing. His allies have begun deserting him. The Congressional Black Caucus released a statement pointing out that his mother is white.
Senator John Ensign said Tuesday he arranged a lobbying job for his mistress's husband. The guy wasn't really pimping his wife. They were on their way to videotape a sting at the local ACORN office and they decided to stop by to see John Ensign.
President Obama pushed health care reform Monday surrounded by a hundred and fifty doctors. It wasn't easy for the president to lure one hundred and fifty doctors to the White House. He had to tear out Michelle's vegetable garden and put in a driving range.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Tuesday she is open to the idea of a new value-added tax that's like a national sales tax. It would make everything more expensive in the middle of a recession. Nancy Pelosi must represent one of those kinky districts in San Francisco where the more you punish them the more they'll pay to see you again.
President Obama spoke at the National Counter-terrorism Command Center Tuesday where he praised the staff for doing important work. Their identities are secret for everyone's protection. It's an idea the president picked up backstage at the Ed Sullivan Theater.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton