Jewish World Review Oct. 8, 2009 / 20 Tishrei 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg angered civil libertarians by placing security cameras and license plate readers throughout Manhattan. How does this prevent terrorism? Photographing the rubble after it lands doesn't help you find the hijacker.
Gennifer Flowers signed to star in a New York musical Tuesday. She was the first Bill Clinton sex scandal which launched a million Clinton jokes. Comedians are now frantically searching their files for those jokes and switching them to Letterman.
The New York Post reported that David Letterman has a secret bedroom above the stage of the CBS Ed Sullivan Theater. No one was allowed in the room except him and the female employees he invited. The sign on the door reads Promotions Department.
CBS president Les Moonves did not discipline Dave Letterman Monday. He himself slept with CBS anchor Julie Chen, then left his wife for her. All CBS employees must take a sensitivity training class in which they watch six hours of Playboy After Dark.
The NFL Players Association said Monday it will start a program for financial education to help professional football players handle their money. This idea is long overdue. Everyone recognizes that the strippers have not been doing a good job.
Roman Polanski requested bail from a Swiss judge Monday as he awaits a hearing for extradition to the U.S. His lawyers are trying everything. Yesterday they said he merely did what he had to do to get her to confess the location of Osama bin Laden.
NBC's Saturday Night Live made news Saturday by doing a sketch showing President Obama admitting he's accomplished nothing. It's ominous. Jerry Ford was the first president to learn that once you've lost Saturday Night Live, you've lost the country.
President Obama said Monday he hasn't decided whether to send more U.S. soldiers to Afghanistan. He'd like to frame it as a humanitarian issue. The Afghan people haven't been vaccinated against swine flu and we're just the ones to stick it to them.
Defense Secretary Robert Gates ordered U.S. generals Monday to stop airing their views on Afghanistan publicly. You can imagine all the grumbling going on at the Pentagon. We're trying to become the first foreign country in history to win a war in Afghanistan and we've got a president who can't defeat Brazil for the Olympics.
Robert Redford was honored at the National Arts Awards Monday. His movie roles included a bank robber, a con man, and a reporter who brought down Nixon. For the last thirty years the Democratic nomination for president has been his for the asking.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton