Jewish World Review Oct. 16, 2008 / 17 Tishrei 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Native Americans denounced Columbus Day Monday as a celebration of conquest. To make amends, the U.S. government has given tribes casinos. Now Indians have the same advantage over the white man which they had at the Little Big Horn, namely house odds.
Project Acorn was found Monday to have registered seven-year-old kids and dogs as Democratic voters. It may backfire. The joke will be on Acorn when the kids and dogs vote Republican because they're tired of everyone talking to them like they're two years old.
World Series of Poker officials called for an end to the ban on Internet poker Saturday. Online poker is relatively wholesome. The queen of hearts and the queen of diamonds are the only two women on the Internet who have their blouses buttoned up.
Barack Obama gave a speech in Ohio Monday where he outlined an economic rescue plan for America. He proposed removing capital gains taxes on small businesses in the United States. Those small businesses are General Motors, Ford and United Airlines.
Chrysler management told company employees Monday that no deals have been made to merge with another automaker. The better move is to merge with a bank. Chrysler needs the infusion of cash and the banks need to acquire technology for crash safety.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton