Jewish World Review Oct. 14, 2008 / 15 Tishrei 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Catalina Sky Survey telescope spotted an asteroid heading for earth Friday and issued an alert. Fortunately it exploded in the sky before impact. America's financial system may be destroyed but at least our missile defense system still works.
General Motors fell to five dollars a share Friday, mirroring Ford's fall. This is a separate crisis from Wall Street's. The difference between the auto industry and the financial industry is that in the financial industry, airbags cause the crash.
Dallas Cowboys safety PacMan Jones was subdued by police Tuesday after fighting with his team-assigned bodyguard. He's been involved in a dozen shootings and car wrecks. PacMan Jones being the team's safety is like making Michael Vick the team veterinarian.
O.J. Simpson's lawyer demanded a new trial Saturday following O.J.'s conviction for robbery in Las Vegas. He says O.J. didn't get a fair trial. The jury refused to consider O.J.'s perfectly logical defense that he's a murderer, not a room service waiter.
Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were ordered Friday to start buying up forty billion dollars a month of toxic assets held by banks. It's a change for Freddie and Fannie. They are getting out of the home mortgage business and getting into waste management.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton