Jewish World Review Oct. 9, 2008 / 10 Tishrei 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
John McCain and Barack Obama had their second presidential debate in Nashville Tuesday at Belmont University. It was very tense. Before the debate even started, bomb-sniffing dogs went through the auditorium looking for Barack Obama's old friends.
John McCain startled GOP debate viewers Tuesday by proposing a government plan to prop up home values to help solve the mortgage mess. The signs at his rallies all say Country First. Even his campaign slogan sounds like a failed savings and loan.
Barack Obama called for a national health care program in Tuesday's debate. He said health care coverage should be universal in a country as wealthy as the United States. When he memorized that line four weeks ago it seemed perfectly logical.
Barack Obama suggested Warren Buffett for Treasury Secretary and John McCain suggested eBay CEO Meg Whitman. It raises two questions. Would Warren Buffett want his picture on the money, and how much could Meg Whitman could get us for Puerto Rico?
NBC News star Tom Brokaw moderated Tuesday's debate in Nashville and spent half the debate lecturing Barack Obama and John McCain. He told them to stick to the subject, answer the questions and talk less. When he asked them if they agree with the British that we need an acceptable dictator in Afghanistan, they both endorsed him for the job.
New York plastic surgeons on Monday reported a boom in facelifts for brokers and money managers who are suddenly looking for new jobs. They have no trouble paying for the procedure. The bags under their eyes are where they stored last year's bonuses.
The Wall Street Journal said Tuesday's sell-off could have been much worse. The obituary page listed only three deaths. One trader had a heart attack at eighty-two, one had kidney failure at seventy-five, and the other had Lehman Brothers at sixty-six.
Lehman Brothers' former CEO Richard Fuld was slugged by a disgruntled client at their Manhattan gym Sunday. The client fury is spreading. Investment bankers can't lay out on the beach in Southern California because cats keep kicking sand over them.
© 2007, Argus Hamilton