Jewish World Review Oct. 7, 2008 / 8 Tishrei 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
O.J. Simpson was found guilty of robbery and kidnapping in Las Vegas Friday. Some guys are just born lucky. O.J. was a football star, then he was a Hollywood star, then he got away with murder and now he will never have to worry about making another mortgage payment.
Howard Stern tied the knot with his longtime girlfriend Saturday in a Las Vegas wedding ceremony. He proposed to her on Valentine's Day. He wanted to wait until he lost enough money in the stock market so the divorce won't be that costly.
Wall Street churches and synagogues in New York's financial district were full throughout last week's credit crisis. The investment bankers felt a real sense of renewal inside the sanctuaries. Each service began with a reading from Chapter Eleven.
Israel denounced North Korea Saturday for shipping arms and nuclear technology to six Arab nations. The Jewish state is so isolated. Israel is the only strip of land in the Middle East that has no oil, but that only protects them from a U.S. attack.
Barack Obama celebrated his sixteenth wedding anniversary Friday but all week he told crowds it was his fifteenth anniversary. The staff didn't mention it to him. If they start correcting his math now the whole health care plan falls apart.
Joe Biden's appearance in the debate caused comment by plastic surgeons in Los Angeles. He had no wrinkles and his eyelids had been lifted and tightened. Half the viewers thought Sarah Palin won the debate and the other half thought Connie Chung won.
Sarah Palin called out Barack Obama Saturday over his ties to Sixties anti-war radical William Ayers. The Chicago professor once headed the Weathermen, a group that bombed government buildings to protest the Vietnam War. There was a time in this country when opposing a war meant more than going on Larry King and plugging your documentary.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton