Jewish World Review Oct. 3, 2008 / 4 Tishrei 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Congress met with bankers in a basement conference room of the Capitol Tuesday to discuss adding looser accounting rules to the bailout bill. That's the perfect place to meet with bankers. You can't kill yourself jumping out of a basement window.
The U.S. Senate offered an amended version of the bailout bill Tuesday. It would double the depositor insurance for banks that invested recklessly because they knew the deposits were insured. Whenever you see an active land mine, plant flowers on it.
New York cops said Monday a street robber seized four hundred thousand dollars cash from an armored car guard and got away. It'll be easy to catch him. Police are staking out every mattress store watching for someone who's buying an extra-deep king.
The Phoenix spacecraft reported seeing falling snow on Mars for the first time Tuesday. It had to be done. You can tell Baby Boomers are in charge of the budget when NASA has to say they found signs of cocaine on Mars in order to get any funding.
NBC News sent a reporter to Hanoi to track down John McCain's prison guards and check on his torture claims. No one could believe NBC doubted he was tortured. NBC News is so deep in the tank for Barack Obama it violates the ban on waterboarding.
Former Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev teamed up with a Moscow tycoon to form the Democratic Party of Russia. The timing is no accident. The old communist didn't think he could coexist with capitalism until he saw the bailout bill in Washington D.C.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton