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May 25, 2012
Mark Clayton: Is Hillary's State Dept. hacking Al Qaeda? Not quite
Erika Bolstad: Temple cancels Wasserman Schultz speech
The Kosher Gourmet by Ethel G. Hofman: The former president of the International Association of Culinary Professionals, whose members included the likes of Julia Child, is back with contemporary Shavous cuisine: Ruby Fruit Soup, Sweet Noodle Kugel with Cheese, Key Lime Curd, Calsone Casserole Frittata with Wild Mushrooms, Sun-dried tomatoes and Olives, Baked Tilapia with Pepper Cheese Cream and Brown Sugar Shortbread
May 24, 2012
Jeff Jacoby: The peace process battered Israel's reputation
Michael Muskal: 'Pro-choice' position hits record low, according to poll
Chris Farrell: Are We in a Tech Bubble?
The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS --- hold the steak!
May 23, 2012
Tony Pugh: More private colleges offering tuition discounts
Mary Beth Franklin: How to Choose the Right Annuity for You
Tina Susman: The wig wasn't enough: Man gets 13 years for posing as his dead mom
The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen:A simple way to do fish right
May 22, 2012
Warren Richey: Can US group challenge overseas surveillance act? Supreme Court to decide
Thomas M. Anderson: Walking Away From a Mortgage
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: Enjoy a celebration of the most rich and layered flavors: Black bean, sweet potato and quinoa chili
May 21, 2012
Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security?
Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test
The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance
Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again
The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES)
May 14, 2012
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car
Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli
The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
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Jewish World Review
Oct. 16, 2007
/ 4 Mar-Cheshvan, 5768
Adulthood at first means apprenticingin legal limbo
By Marybeth Hicks
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
It's official. As of yesterday, my husband and I successfully have raised up our first full-fledged adult.
Eighteen years ago, Katie ushered in a long list of responsibilities and worries. We knew her tiny life depended on our constant attention and supervision. We were awed by the responsibility as well as the magnitude of our potential for mistakes that could have lifelong consequences.
We struggled to teach her good manners and healthy habits. We evaluated and re-evaluated our parenting strategies. We read books and magazines. We bought antibacterial soap.
We had questions, such as, "How can we foster good self esteem?" and "Why do her feet grow so quickly?" and "How do you extract mucus from someone else's nose?"
Today, we're long past those sorts of considerations. Somewhere along the way, we handed her a tissue and said, "Use this."
We also learned that children are resilient. We decided we could make mistakes, and she would be all right despite our bumbling efforts. We learned. She learned. Life unfolded.
Now that she's reached the age of majority, we're free to cut our daughter loose and wish her well, knowing our duty to feed, clothe, shelter and educate her is legally concluded.
Yes sir, she's an adult. Free to make her own decisions, go her own way. Free to cast her line, call her own shots, ride the proverbial wave of her own destiny.
She's free, free, free.
We're relieved of the burden of negotiating the world on her behalf. In fact, we're not even allowed to negotiate it anymore.
Here's the thing: Now that I have an adult child, I'm struck by how silly this designation really is.
To wit: I hand Katie a health insurance card, which she must carry with her in case she needs to access the health care system. She says: "What do I do with this?"
"If you go to the doctor, you hand it to the folks at the desk, and they use the information on it to bill our insurance company for your visit."
"Oh. I thought I just told them my name," she says.
Sigh.
Mind you, now that this daughter is 18, she must grant me permission to be informed about her medical condition. I can't know anything about her health that she doesn't tell me personally. She's an adult, after all.
Never mind that she apparently thinks the medical bill fairy pays for her office visits.
Our culture sends lots of mixed messages to our newly minted adults. They can vote and fight for our country, but at the end of the day, they can't legally order an adult beverage.
They can withhold information from their parents but still be completely financially dependent on us.
They can take on debt and declare bankruptcy and get married, but they can't rent a car at the Hertz counter.
It's not real adulthood. It's limbo.
Then again, I think limbo is just the right place for my young adult. It's a time for her to continue to lean on her parents for insight and opinions as she starts to carve out her own path.
She can let us know her plans but recognize that we may question some of them — even counsel her to reconsider them if they seem unrealistic or unwise.
It's a period of apprenticeship, so to speak — a few years to assert her independence while we still hold the ultimate tool of decision-making authority — the password to our joint checking account.
In fact, it's fun to watch my daughter begin to do the things adults do — hold a regular job, fly alone on a plane, even make a plan to buy herself a car.
Of course, when she recently shared that plan with me, I asked, "Any idea how much it costs for auto insurance?"
"Oh yeah ..." she said. "Insurance. I forgot about that."
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JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of 20 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide.
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© 2007, Marybeth Hicks
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