Jewish World Review Oct. 31, 2007 / 19 Mar-Cheshvan 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Buckingham Palace confirmed Sunday that a Royal Family member was being blackmailed with video evidence of cocaine use and sex. Why's everyone so shocked? It's normal protocol for a member of the Royal Family to be a part of the NFL welcoming committee.
Boston Red Sox fans celebrated their World Series win Sunday. In addition, Boston College and the New England Patriots are undefeated. Boston hasn't done this well since they convinced Abe Lincoln to stop the port of New Orleans from cutting into their business.
Los Angeles officials praised firefighters on Sunday for keeping the wildfires out of the city. Everyone is grateful. When you remember that silicone explodes at one hundred and fifty degrees it would've sounded like the fall of Saigon around here.
Hillary Clinton surged to a thirty-one point lead in the nationwide polls last week, two months before the primaries begin. Her camp is getting cocky. Bill Clinton dropped by the White House on Tuesday to measure the Oval Office for privacy curtains.
Argentina's first lady Cristina Kirchner was elected president of the country Sunday. The brunette is an absolute knockout. She campaigned in a peasant blouse during rainy season and to this day no one can remember what her opponent looks like.
Jerry Ford told a journalist, in remarks he wanted published posthumously, that Bill Clinton was a sex addict. It shows how much class and restraint the late president had. He would never want to reveal any national secrets while he was alive.
Rudy Giuliani said Monday if Hillary Clinton's health care plan had passed he would never have survived his prostate cancer. She might have saved his life. She saved Bill Clinton's life a dozen times just by forgetting to unplug the lamp before she threw it.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2007, Argus Hamilton