Jewish World Review Oct. 30, 2007 / 18 Mar-Cheshvan 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Rudy Giuliani was reported Thursday to have been saved from assassination by the Mafia twenty years ago by a vote of the five crime bosses. Two voted to have him killed and three voted to let him live. That's a sixty percent approval rating anyway you cut it.
NBA Commissioner David Stern admitted Thursday that half the NBA referees have broken league rules banning casino gambling. So he changed the rules and legalized casino gambling by referees. Next week the referees plan to get caught robbing banks.
The National Blackout was called by black radio talk show hosts, asking African-Americans not to spend any money Friday to protest conditions. It's no use. If they want better treatment they will have to move to San Diego and set their houses on fire.
San Diego bought emergency supplies of electricity from Mexico Monday as fires severed power lines. The country has bountiful natural resources. In addition to oil and silver and tequila, Mexico's the number-one producer of American public schoolchildren.
Qualcomm Stadium was closed as a fire shelter Friday to get ready for Sunday's San Diego Chargers game there. Time was of the essence. California's rainy season starts on the first of November and they wanted to get the game in before the mudslide.
FEMA apologized Friday for staging a fake press conference, where staffers posing as reporters lobbed softball questions to FEMA's director. They had good reason for doing it. You can't get on the Larry King Show just because you have a fire to put out.
Vladimir Putin ridiculed White House rhetoric threatening Iran on Thursday. He told reporters that the problem won't be solved by running around like a madman with a razor blade. This is serious business, why bring Phil Spector's barber into it?
Vladimir Putin compared the U.S. missile defense system planned in Europe to the Cuban missile crisis. Talk about charisma. Even if it's forty-five years later, baldheaded spies from the other side of the Berlin Wall see themselves as Jack Kennedy.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2007, Argus Hamilton