Jewish World Review Oct. 24, 2007 / 12 Mar-Cheshvan 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Poker Players Alliance lobbied Congress Monday to overturn the federal ban on Internet poker. There's nothing sinful about it. The Queen of Diamonds and the Queen of Hearts are the only two women on the Internet with their blouses buttoned up.
The CIA began studying Las Vegas surveillance techniques Monday to help uncover terrorists. You don't need high tech to spot terrorists in Vegas. You just watch to see who heckles Wayne Newton during his salute to the troops, then you waterboard them.
NASA surveyed airline pilots to learn the number of near-collisions in the air every day. The pilots want it kept secret. If they release the number of near-collisions in the air every day it will just be more ammunition for Mothers Against Drunk Flying.
Inside the Actors' Studio host James Lipton revealed Monday he worked as a pimp, setting up hookers with clients, while living in Paris as a young man. No one in Hollywood was surprised to hear it. Once an acting teacher, always an acting teacher.
San Diego County was declared a disaster area Monday when brushfires fueled by high winds left two hundred and fifty thousand evacuees trapped. Residents didn't have any place to run. It was a mistake to build that border wall without a fire exit.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton