Jewish World Review Oct. 27, 2006 / 5 Mar-Cheshvan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Oprah Winfrey interviewed Madonna on Wednesday in a classic meeting of world class attention-getters. Madonna has met her match. Before the show began, Oprah Winfrey walked onstage and gave everybody in the studio audience a baby from Africa.
Congress finally sent the Mexico border fence bill to the White House for signing. The bill provides for Internet cameras that allow anyone to watch the border for illegal immigrants. A year from now if they jump over one particular fence, everybody in America gets a free taco from Taco Bell.
Bill Clinton will host a fund-raiser for his foundation Friday in New York starring the Rolling Stones. They are charging half a million dollars for a backstage pass. For that price you get a private meeting with a rock star who's slept with everybody, and you might even get a chance to meet Mick Jagger.
The German tabloid Bild ran photos Tuesday of German soldiers in Afghanistan holding up a human skull. They had better not have been performing Hamlet. Once a German soldier gets his orders he could be shot for thinking twice about something.
Britain's Ministry of Defence admitted Wednesday they tested a drug designed to keep soldiers awake for forty-eight hours. It was all so avoidable. Alertness would not be a problem if we had left heroin country alone and invaded Peru instead.
Mark Foley's lawyer said Tuesday he went to rehab at Sierra Tucson after he was caught making sexual overtures to underage pages. Sierra Tucson boasts a one-hundred-sixty acre campus. As soon as Mark Foley heard the word campus he volunteered to stay as long as it takes.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton