Jewish World Review Oct. 25, 2006 / 3 Mar-Cheshvan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Princeton University conducted a study Monday to show how easy it is to hack electronic voting machines. They said a simple virus can flip the result of an election. It's just a matter of when your female accuser tells Star Magazine about it.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad boasted in Tehran Monday that Iran's nuclear weapons program has increased ten-fold since the West began pressuring his country to disarm. Iran won't be a threat much longer. It was just bought by Google.
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il apologized Friday for detonating a nuclear bomb two weeks ago. His irrational actions are explainable. Kim Jong Il has been on a month-long bender ever since he was adopted by Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown.
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said Sunday there'll be no impeachment if Democrats win the House. You can imagine everyone's disappointment. If all they are going to do is better the country, there is no point in showing up at the polls.
Senator Barack Obama excited Democrats on Sunday by saying on Meet the Press he may run for president. He's drawing huge crowds on the road. He's such a rock star that Heather Mills McCartney has already accused him of pushing her into the bathtub.
Hillary Clinton's Republican opponent for the Senate, John Spencer, said Monday she must have spent millions on plastic surgery considering how ugly she was in college. He said this to a reporter from a Democratic newspaper on a plane flight at ten-thirty in the morning. Voters will never elect someone who drinks that early.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton