Jewish World Review Oct. 12, 2006 / 20 Tishrei, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Google paid almost two billion dollars to purchase YouTube on Tuesday. This merges a search engine with a video catalogue of young people sitting in front of their webcams. Congressional pensions must now be contingent on giving up Internet access.
Condi Rice refused direct talks with North Korea Tuesday, saying they cheated on the nuclear disarmament deal they made with the Clinton administration. They cheated on Bill Clinton. That's the moral equivalent of overcharging an oil company.
Hillary Clinton didn't comment Tuesday when pundits reported rumors she plans to appoint Bill Clinton as her Secretary of State if elected president. Friends say Hillary hasn't spoken to her husband in years. She doesn't want to interrupt him.
Iowa governor Tom Vilsack unveiled a new fertilizer additive Tuesday to foil meth labs. Fertilizer is the key ingredient. Politicians were insulted to hear that their old speeches had to be chemically altered to keep people awake for three days.
The Pentagon announced Tuesday that drill sergeants are no longer shouting at U.S. Army recruits in basic training. Young men today don't need harsh combat motivation. They only need to pay at the pump and have someone point them toward the Middle East.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton