Jewish World Review Oct. 6, 2006 / 14 Tishrei, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Congressman Mark Foley's constituents in Florida expressed shock Monday over his e-mails to pages but praised him as a hard-working lawmaker. They like how he is always in the neighborhood. That's the great thing about driving a Popsicle truck.
Mark Foley's lawyer explained Tuesday that Congressman Foley was molested by his priest as a teenage boy. It's called the cycle of molestation. The priest does it to the boy, then the boy becomes a congressman and does it to the taxpayers.
The FBI searched two California spinach companies Wednesday looking for evidence of a crime. There's confusion. A third of Americans are terrified of contracting E. coli while the other two-thirds think E. coli is a dating service founded by Lassie.
Los Angeles officials said Wednesday they will run DNA tests on sewage in the ocean off Malibu. They want to find out which Malibu residents are fouling the water. While in rehab, Mel Gibson had to flush all his copies of Mein Kampf down the toilet.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton