In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 30, 2006 / 5 Mar-Cheshvan, 5767

Don't say it if you can't be it

By Mitch Albom

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I witnessed something recently that said a lot about who we are in America. It took place not on a big stage on a Saturday night in New York, but in a midsized American city, on a weekday morning.

I was to be a guest on a local morning TV show. It was one of those shows that are liable to have a cooking segment, followed by a pets segment, then a segment on sexy Halloween costumes.

On this day, they were doing a mini talent contest — a singing thing, like "American Idol." They had three contestants. Before each of them came out, they ran a 30-second recorded piece, asking the person who they were and what they planned to do.

The first was a young woman, maybe 20 years old. In her interview, she boasted how she was gonna "win this thing for sure." She bragged about her talent. She was supremely confident.

Then she came out. And she started singing. And I am not exaggerating when I say she didn't hit a single note on key. Not one. Politely put, she was awful. But because this was a smaller city, and a local show, when she finished, the judges said "amazing," and they got the audience to clap.

Next came a young man. His recorded segment featured him talking about how he was going to win, no doubt. At the end, he slid on a pair of black sunglasses and made a crack about being the coolest guy you would ever see.

And he came out. And he was barely better than the first woman. But when he was finished, the hosts said "incredible," and the audience clapped.

The third contestant was no better than the others. Her video showed a confident attitude. But partway through her song, she forgot the words (and she only had to sing for less than a minute). Still, when she finished, they told her she was great. The audience applauded.

You kept waiting for someone to come out from behind the curtain and say, "OK, it was all a joke, clearly these people can't sing." But no one came. A winner was awarded. And nobody mentioned how foolish they all looked bragging about their talent, when their talent, once displayed, was little to brag about.

What seemed most important was that everyone clapped.

Now, the same day this was going on, I happened to be having an ongoing conversation about a Belgian girl we know. She is 15 and. has already graduated high school. She is now taking university courses. At 15! She is, politely put, brilliant. She speaks English better than most American kids, even though it was not her first language.

Yet because her culture emphasizes conformity, humility, more and harder work and less and less talk, she thinks she is nothing special. She is shy and demure. She would blush if you asked her to say she was "gonna win this thing for sure." And she would put on sunglasses only if it were sunny.

I thought about her as I watched this small-town version of "It Ain't Bragging If You Can Do It — And Even If You Can't, It's Still Good." You see this everywhere in America.

Rappers sing about their greatness while recording in someone's basement. MySpace is full of teenagers boasting Web personas they would never live up to in the flesh. Athletes make bold predictions, and if they are shut down, nobody calls them on it.

What seems most important in America is that you have another boast in your bag if your first one falls through.

Why this concerns me is that, in many ways, we have become a place more interested in telling you how good we are than in actually working to be that good. Somewhere along the line we fell so in love with having a positive self-image that good became great, and mediocre was also great, and lousy was great, too.

Look, it's fine to be confident. But teaching young people to be confident without any skill or sweat is like sending a wingless bird out of the nest and telling it to "think" it can fly. Inevitably, there is a crash. It will come away from the cameras, when there is no phony clapping and no smiling hosts. Then the person will have to look in the mirror and ask, "Have I done the work to be where I want to be?"

Here's a tip. First take off the sunglasses.

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