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July 24, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: On the road again --- and again and again

Richard Z. Chesnoff: Mideast Refugees --- Failure vs. Success

JWisdom:: Word power is about more than vocabulary by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 23, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: The Mufti of Jerusalem's Nazi ideology lives on among contemporary Islamists

The Kosher Gourmet by Joe Gray: Smoked paprika turkey meatballs simmered in red wine and tomato sauce

JWisdom:: 'Routine' doesn't need to mean ‘rote’ By Rabbi David Aaron

July 22, 2008

Yossi Klein Halevi: Dear Barack Obama

Elliot B. Gertel: Eli Stone: Self-indulgent, arrogant corporate attorney as modern-day prophet

JWisdom:: Three Weeks - Nine Days - One Purpose by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

July 21, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Spending your kids' money

Mitch Albom: A grim exchange illustrates a key difference

JWisdom:: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: Hammered on the Anvil --- Severed by the Sickle by Rabbi Nosson Scherman

July 18, 2008

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: The Sanctification and Importance of Time

Caroline B. Glick: US wants it absolutely clear it has no intention of attacking Iran's nuclear installations

Mona Charen: What can you say about a people who welcome a child murderer as a hero?

JWisdom:: Living a dog's life, dawg? by Rabbi Dovid Gross

July 17, 2008

Steven Emerson: Deals with devils

Libby Lazewnik: One Step at a Time

JWisdom:: Leader the follower? by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 16, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Poaching humans

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Meaty pasta salad with summer berries perfect for warm evenings

JWisdom:: Keeping A Secret by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

July 15, 2008

Dennis Prager: False Equation: Opposing Same-Sex Marriage and Opposing Interracial Marriage

Joel Greenberg: Researchers look to Israeli circumcision program to help combat AIDS 'Alternatives' to Logic Won't Work

JWisdom:: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part V: Why Judaism ISN'T Spiritual by Rabbi David Aaron

July 14, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: A warning from Canada to those who value life

Jonathan Tobin: 'Alternatives' to Logic Won't Work

JWisdom:: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Poland's Unique Antisemitism, Part II

July 11, 2008

Rabbi Francis Nataf: It's hard to be humble when you're great

Caroline B. Glick: A tale of two hostages

JWisdom:: Profane for Prophet by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 8, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q. Duty to save gullible from themselves?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Islamists have the West just where they want us

JWisdom:: Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality, Part 3: The Fully Loaded Human Being by Rabbi Dovid Gross

July 3, 2008

Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski: A spiritual budget (TOUCHING!)

Jeff Jacoby: Israel still paying for its defeat

JWisdom:: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part IV by Rabbi David Aaron

JWisdom:: The Moses Method by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 2, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Appeasers Make Poor Patriots

The Kosher Gourmet By Kathleen Purvis: Slaw, y'all: For BBQs or Sabbath dinner, these southern recipes are something else!

JWisdom:: Rabbi Mordechai Becher: Jewish Rx for A Simpler Life

July 1, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q. I think it's important to leave a legacy to my children. How much should I save towards this end?

Paul Greenberg:A President who is history deficient?

JWisdom:: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Poland's Unique Antisemitism

June 30, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Remembering the architect of Torah Judaism for the modern world

Abe Novick: Hulk: Still a Jew?

JWisdom: : Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality, Part 2: The Abandoned Child

June 26, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: Quantum leap to evil

Caroline B. Glick: Victimized families must not be allowed to dictate policy

June 25, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Today in Biblical History: King Jeroboam of Israel prevents pilgrimage to Jerusalem

Jonathan Tobin: Real Friends and Real Enemies

JWisdom: Raping of reason By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

June 25, 2008

Steven Emerson: Kristof: Never Mind the Terrorists

Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: Mediterranean Flyover: Telegraphing an Israeli Punch?

JWisdom: Rabbi David Aaron: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part III

June 24, 2008

Caroline B. Glick: What were they thinking!?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Guilty knowledge

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Warping Innocence

June 23, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Diploma dilemma

Jeff Jacoby: A world without children

JWisdom: Rabbi Dovid Gross: Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality --- Introduction

June 20, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Man: The Crowning Glory of Creation

Caroline B. Glick: Israel's darkest week

JWisdom: We aren't worthy? by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

June 19, 2008

Rabbi Elazar Meisels: The saints who don't come marchin' in

Chris Christoff: Muslim woman demands an apology from Obama after camera snub

June 18, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Still Dancing Around Jerusalem

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky: Chilled fruit and vegetable soups

JWisdom: Souls Need A Check Up? by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

June 17, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Baby Einstein

Caroline B. Glick: Bush's rhetoric, Bush's policies

JWisdom: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part II by Rabbi David Aaron

June 16, 2008

Varda Branfman: Bob Dylan, won't you please come home?

Diana West: Academic dares to question the 'religion of peace'

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Positive Backfire

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Oct. 1, 2006 / 9 Tishrei, 5767

Tony Bennett's ready to serenade, but where's mom?

By Mitch Albom


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | There is a reason why I don't plan surprise parties. I am not very good at them. They're hard to keep secret.


And, with me, they usually backfire.


My most recent attempt came last week. It wasn't really the typical party — you know, where everyone jumps out and screams, "Surprise!" and you pray the person doesn't have a coronary — but it was close enough.


The occasion was my mother's birthday. Her age, let's just say, is in her 70s. She was in Detroit for a big charity benefit that we did to help the city's homeless. The event, at the Fox Theatre, featured, among other guests, Tony Bennett, one of my mother's favorite singers.


Since the night was tied to a new book ("For One More Day") I wrote about mothers and sons, I was flushed with the family spirit. So I broke my rule. I got this "great" idea for a surprise. (I put the word in quotes because "great" ideas always seem better in your head.) My "great" idea was that at some point during the night, I could somehow get my mother on stage and have Tony Bennett and the whole audience sing her "Happy Birthday."


Yeah, it's corny. But I love my mom.


Why not give her a thrill?


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So I went through all the planning. I coordinated a secret strategy. I chose the moment, the setting, the key personnel.


Here was how it was supposed to happen. At a "designated" point in the benefit, Tony Bennett would get ready to sing and I would introduce that. At the same time, a "designated" person would take my mother from the audience and lead her backstage. Then I would tell a "designated" funny story from my childhood, finish the story and, by that point, another "designated" person would send my mother out, and I would ask the audience to sing along with Tony in a rousing rendition of the birthday song!


We had it so well-planned.


So we reached the magic moment, near the end of the benefit. And I began to introduce Tony. And the "designated" someone got my mother from her seat and led her backstage.


Except.


Except that designated someone happened to be my wife. And she happened to ask my mother as they were walking backstage, "Do you need to use the bathroom?"

THE SOUNDS OF SILENCE
Now, there are certain questions I have discovered you should never ask a woman. One of them is "Do you need to use the bathroom?" They could have just COME OUT of the bathroom, and if you say, "Do you need to use the bathroom," they will answer, "Well, you know, maybe I should, just in case."


So by now, you probably can figure what happened. I tell the designated story. The audience is primed. Tony Bennett is ready. And I say something like, "Well, today is my mother's birthday and it would be great if we could bring her out here and sing happy birthday to her . . . " and the crowd rose to its feet and I announced, proudly and loudly, "So here she is, my mother . . . "


And nothing.


And the applause continued.


And nothing.


And the applause trickled down.


And nothing.


And then someone yelled — and this may have been a relative — "She's in the bathroom!"


And we all stood there, open-mouthed. I don't know how much time passed, but it felt long enough for Tony Bennett to retrieve his heart from San Francisco.


And then, just when I was about to start tap dancing, out steps my mother, in no particular hurry, walking across the stage as if she were wandering through a sale section at Bloomingdale's.


And we all sang "Happy Birthday."


And she was very happy.


The moral of the story is, if you are not good at surprises, don't plan them. And if you need to fetch a woman from the audience, don't send another woman. Send Tony Bennett.

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