Dec. 1, 2008 Max Freidlander, as told to Jacklyn C. Wadler: India Inkings Mark Steyn: Whodunit!? Nov. 28, 2008 Rabbi Ahron Rapps: An evil seed that didn't have to be Melanie Phillips: Carpe diem --- or can we all relax now? Nov. 26, 2008 Michael Feldberg: Meet the Orthodox Jew who laid groundwork for scientific development of ordnance that undergirds America's current world leadership Andrea Simantov: Shades of life Nov. 25, 2008 The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Getting Emotional For Influence The Kosher Gourmet by Ethel G. Hofman : Thanksiving feast! Nov. 24, 2008 Rabbi S. Binyomin Ginsberg: 'I just Became a grandchild!' Barry Rubin: Don't flatter your enemies, protect your friends Nov. 21, 2008 Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Money matters? Caroline B. Glick: Civilization walks the plank Nov. 20, 2008 Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bronfman's blindness The Kosher Gourmet By Linda Gassenheimer: Portobellos add a hearty flavor to pasta with pesto Nov, 19, 2008 The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Spread the wealth? Jewish tradition and income equality Elliot B. Gertel: 'Mad Men': Tackling prejudices or reinforcing them? Nov, 18, 2008 Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn: The End of the Age of Reason Jonathan Tobin: Does Barack + Bibi = Disaster? Nov, 17, 2008 Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The End of the Age of Reason Diana West: Gulling Americans into making terror legit? Nov, 14, 2008 Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: The Power of Spiritual Inertia Caroline B. Glick: The perils ahead Nov, 13, 2008 Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: How Bush and Obama together could change the Middle East dynamic The Kosher Gourmet by JeanMarie Brownson: Sweet and savory, crispy and meltingly tender bestilla Nov, 12, 2008 The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Tyrannical Co-Workers Michael Doyle: High Court to consider today donated monuments that may have religious messages in public parks Nov, 11, 2008 Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Will Obama stop government officials considering institutionalizing financial jihad? Jonathan Tobin: They Will Decide Their Own Fate Nov, 10, 2008 Rabbi Avi Shafran: $8 billion, modern-day Tower of Babel being built? Barry Rubin: A letter to the president-elect from a Middle East realist Nov, 7, 2008 Rabbi Francis Nataf: Of Children and Immortality Caroline B. Glick: Livni's Obama strategy Nov, 6, 2008 Rabbi Yonason Goldson: How I tricked a classroom of apathetic students into grasping the fallacy of moral relativism The Kosher Gourmet By Gina Kim: Tips for making the perfect soup --- includes recipes Nov, 5, 2008 The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Destitute Debtors Bruce Weinstein: 'Religulos': Bad title,even worse movie Nov, 4, 2008 Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Treasury Dept. submits to Shariah law Frida Ghitis: A surprise for Obama in the Middle East Nov, 3, 2008 Jonathan Rosenblum: Who says Jews are Smart? Jonathan Tobin: Was He Wrong About Everything? March 22, 2007 J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !) Oct. 29, 2003 Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Oct. 21, 2005 / 18 Tishrei, 5766 Spray It, Don't Say It By Gene Weingarten http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I recently turned 54, experienced prostate problems, became hobbled with an arthritic knee, let my belt out a notch and noticed that when I don't shave for a week I begin to look like Santa Claus. At a moment like this, a real man knows it is time to take serious remedial action. I knew what I had to do. I had to fire a submachine gun. Fortunately, logistics proved no problem. This is America. By federal law, there must be a machine-gun firing range within a 10-minute Hummer drive of any major intersection. I found mine in Rockville, Md., a place called Gilbert Indoor Range. As soon as I walked in, I began to feel more virile. Gilbert doesn't sell just handguns that fire bullets the size of zucchini, it also sells flak jackets, all-terrain vehicles, motorcycles and (I swear) spittoons. The owner's name is Dick. Before I was allowed to touch a gun, Dick Gilbert sat me in front of a half-hour video on gun safety. Gilbert Indoor Range is all about safety and sportsmanship for the gun enthusiast, and, even though you can buy not only machine guns there but also machine-gun silencers, Dick assured me that all of this stuff is for the serious gun collector and target shooter, and not for some nut who wants to shoot people. Most of the targets are pictures of people. Mine was Osama bin Laden, at 15 feet. My submachine gun was a relatively small SWAT-team favorite, an $18,000 H&K MP5 (9mm) Fully Automatic. (All machine guns have names like that. Wouldn't it be cool if American boys were given names like that, too? "I'd like to introduce you to my daughter, Amanda, and my son, S&C Ironmaster .38 Pump Action.") The key to shooting a submachine gun is to understand that, once you squeeze the trigger, certain changes take place in you, and most are beyond your control. Among these is that your face twists up in a hideous scowl. It can't be prevented. Anyone would look mean and vicious firing a machine gun, even Katie Couric. Even Tweety Bird. The other thing that happens is that, once you start firing, your entire field of vision disappears into a gassy, smoky blur, and you are no longer really able to see your target. All you can do is wrestle desperately to keep the barrel down against a ferocious upward kick. It is as though the gun is some Satanic beast that really wants to fire directly at G-d (a simile that, for the record, Gilbert Indoor Range Inc. does not endorse). So you are firing wildly, sneering like Stallone, not sure whom or what you are raking with a lethal blanket of hot lead, leaning into your weapon. You are Sgt. Rock wiping out a nest of filthy, stinking Nazis BUDDA BUDDA BUDDA and suddenly, before it has really begun, it is over. You have emptied a magazine of 30 bullets in just under four seconds. And you're standing there, the acrid stench of gun-powder rising from your warm tommy gun, you are feeling . . . what? Just a little silly? Are you kidding? Man, is it cool. (Note to female readers: I didn't just say that. What I said was that it is not cool. Gunplay is childish and vulgar and crude and loud and violent. And selfish! It was all about me, and it was over way too fast! Okay? Okay. ) I filled and emptied the magazine four times, firing off 110 bullets. Total elapsed shooting time: roughly 10 seconds. Total cost: roughly $17 a second, which works out to about $62,000 an hour. It was well worth it. When we reeled in the target we found that 64 of my rounds were Osama kill shots. So here I am, back home, feeling a little better about myself. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Gene Weingarten writes the Below the Beltway humor column for The Washington Post. To comment, please click here. Archives © 2005 WPWG

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