Jewish World Review Oct. 24, 2005 / 21 Tishrei, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Tom DeLay took a sensational mug shot Thursday at the Harris
County jailhouse. The cameraman got a great smile out of him and
made him look ten years younger. Every star in Hollywood is on his
way to Houston to commit a misdemeanor just so they can get a new
headshot taken by this guy.
The Kansas City Chiefs beat Miami Friday in a game moved up
so it wouldn't be canceled due to the hurricane. Time was running
out. They had to get the game in before Hurricane Wilma evacuees
tear up the stadium turf with their Mah Jongg tables.
The Lundberg Survey showed gas prices finally falling
Friday. Station owners complain customers have no money for beer
and cigarettes and junk food. Not only are we paying record gas
prices but we are going to be paying them ten years longer.
The Powerball Lottery grand prize was won Friday by Oregon
businessman Steve West. He will split three hundred and forty
million dollars between four family members. It's the same way the
reconstruction contracts are given out in New Orleans.
NBA Commissioner David Stern issued a dress code Tuesday to
end the league's hip-hop image. He knew it would be racially
touchy. To show dark-skinned people he's not disrespecting their
culture he put George Hamilton in charge of wardrobe enforcement.
Harriet Miers flunked her questionnaire from the Senate Judiciary Committee Wednesday. They marked it as incomplete and demanded more details. She gave out more info on the back of her centerfold when she was Miss May in Oil and Gas Journal.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton