Jewish World Review Oct. 14, 2005 / 11 Tishrei, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Iraq's Independent Electoral Commission holds elections in
Iraq Saturday on the proposed new democratic constitution. They
seem eager to be Americanized. Iraqis are learning Spanish by
calling the bank and pressing the number two button.
Hillary Clinton spoke at Hollywood fundraisers on Thursday.
The success of ABC's Commander-in-Chief shows America may be ready
for a woman president. Last night John McCain's wife walked into
the bedroom and caught him trying on an evening gown.
Bill Frist was subpoenaed by the Securities and Exchange
Commission in a probe of insider stock trading. It's blatant
racial profiling. Have you ever noticed it's always white guys who
get pulled over by the police for insider stock trading?
The White House got more bad news Tuesday of lower job
approval poll numbers for President Bush. Only forty percent
approve of the job he's doing. This means that four out of every
ten Americans either writes or performs comedy for a living.
Former FBI Director Louis Freeh told CBS' 60 minutes he was
so uncomfortable working for President Clinton that he didn't
level with him about everything. He lied to Bill Clinton. This is
the ethical equivalent to overcharging an oil company.
Harriet Miers wrote gushing personal notes to Governor
George Bush that were released by the Texas state archives Monday.
She wasn't very careful. The only paper trail Monica Lewinsky ever
left was stuck to her heel when she walked out of the bathroom.
Jesse Jackson hired a bus in St. Louis Tuesday to try to
convince New Orleans blacks to come home, but he failed. Democrats
fear the exodus will cost them votes. Lucky for the evacuees the
Thirteenth Amendment prohibits the recapture of runaways.
The Watergate office building in Washington was sold Tuesday. This was where President Nixon's burglars broke into Democratic Party Headquarters late at night looking for dirt on opponents. That's how tough it was to ruin people before Google.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton