Jewish World Review Oct. 11, 2005 / 8 Tishrei, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Houston Astros eliminated the Atlanta Braves from the
playoffs Sunday in an epic eighteen-inning victory. During eight
and a half extra innings neither team scored a run. The tie lasted
so long that Al Gore went on the air and conceded out of habit.
Tiger Woods bested John Daly Sunday to win the American
Express. Tiger Woods hit one drive three hundred fifty yards and
John Daly outdrove him. Barry Bonds videotaped the tee shots in
case he decides to go with the everybody-does-it defense.
New Hampshire had heavy rain and minor flooding Sunday,
causing a few hundred people to evacuate. They'll be just fine.
There are so many senators running for president that New
Hampshire just got two hundred billion dollars in hurricane aid.
The U.S. Senate overwhelmingly passed an amendment Thursday to outlaw all forms of torture of detainees. It just gets worse and worse. Under the bill, anyone who engages in cruel and unusual punishment will get twenty years in the electric chair.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton