Jewish World Review Oct. 7, 2005 / 4 Tishrei, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Tom Cruise rushed to the microphone Wednesday to announce
that he and his fiancee Katie Holmes are having a baby. His
friends in Los Angeles have noticed that his obsession with her is
taking over his life. He's starting to lose interest in his car.
Florida wildlife officials reported Thursday that a python
swallowed an alligator whole and then exploded. The debris was
gory. It's a portrait of what the Social Security system will look
like after the first wave of Baby Boomers goes through it.
Washington D.C.'s onetime Mayor Marion Barry was
investigated on Wednesday for failure to file income taxes. The
Democrat is a living legend on the local party scene. Every
schoolchild in Washington can recite his I Have a Gram speech by heart.
Harriet Miers prepared for confirmation hearings Wednesday.
She won't discuss any cases or her work for the president. Her
hearing will look so much like a mob trial the committee may have
to bring in Rudy Giuliani to get something out of her.
General Motors rolled out its new full-size GMC Yukon Sports
Utility Vehicle Wednesday. It's roomy and powerful. American cars
will never get good gas mileage as long as Americans want to drive
motor homes that can beat a Porsche off the line.
Boston University's survey showed Tuesday that ninety percent of adult white men are overweight along with seventy percent of white women. It's alarming. The maps on the Weather Channel show that the Midwest is starting to hang over the Bible Belt.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton