Jewish World Review Oct. 6, 2005 / 3 Tishrei, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The U.S. Mint unveiled a new nickel featuring Thomas
Jefferson with a smiling face. It's nice. He has the joyful look
of a man who just purchased Louisiana for only six million dollars
and he hasn't found out yet that it is below sea level.
Bill Clinton was in Louisiana Tuesday to meet with the
hurricane victims who are living in Baton Rouge's convention
center. The evacuees complained about the lack of showers, clothes
and privacy. He used to hear the same thing from his interns.
New Orleans construction workers cheered as strip clubs
opened Saturday. They just want stripping. They won't pay a cover
charge to see female mud wrestling when they can watch Governor
Kathleen Blanco and the FEMA director in the street for free.
Mississippi on Tuesday passed a law letting casinos rebuild
on dry land. You couldn't beat the atmosphere on the water. Every
ten minutes you would hear a loud scream and a splash and it would
remind you not to count cards at the blackjack table.
Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid shocked Democrats Monday
by supporting the nomination of Harriet Miers. He twice told
reporters he likes her broad outline. To hell with politics, he is
tired of trying to meet the right woman on the Internet.
New York's Mercantile Exchange saw oil hit sixty-seven
dollars a barrel on Monday. It's bad. Oil company third quarter
profits were so obscene that Howard Stern was fined three hundred
thousand dollars for reporting them on his radio show.
New Orleans officials ripped the work ethic of construction
workers building trailer homes for storm victims Monday. Local
rules apply. When the construction worker has beer coming out of
both sides of his mouth you know the trailer is level.
Ohio celebrated the one-hundredth anniversary of Wilbur and
Orville Wright's first extended flight at Huffman Prairie in Ohio
Monday. The first men to fly were from Ohio, the first man to
orbit the Earth was from Ohio and the first man on the moon was
from Ohio. It appears that guys will do anything to get out of Ohio.
O.J. Simpson signed autographs at the Los Angeles Collectibles and Horror Show Friday and Saturday. It was the tenth anniversary of his acquittal for double murder. He left a day early Sunday when the brushfires gave him a bad flash-forward.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton