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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
Oct. 12, 2005
/ 9 Tishrei, 5766
Digital camera despair
By
David Grimes
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
I don't know if I can pinpoint the exact moment when I realized I was hopelessly out of touch.
Perhaps it was when I witnessed a conversation where people were bandying about words like "blog" and "iPod" as casually as I might use "catarrh" and "Hupmobile."
Or maybe it was when I realized everyone in the world, except me, owns a picture phone and sustains frequent finger sprains doing something called "text-messaging."
And I'm going to tell you something now that will probably shock you to the point that you will spray hot coffee across the kitchen table in a manner made famous by Jackie Gleason in "The Honeymooners," the new season of which should be starting any day now:
I do not own a digital camera.
That's right, America. When I take a picture, or "photograph," as we used to call the things back when Eisenhower was calling the shots, I use a camera that is loaded with a spool of stuff called "film." When you used up your roll of film, you took it down to your friendly neighborhood Walgreens to be "developed" and within a week or so you'd get back a packet of blurry photographs of people missing the tops of their heads.
I don't know if you've noticed, but there is not a long line at Walgreens for this service nowadays.
But lest you think that I am hopelessly antediluvian, I once owned a digital camera. It was given to me as a Christmas present by a loved one who (rightfully) thought that popular American culture was passing me by like a cigarette boat might pass an iceberg. It was a disaster. The instruction manual, written in four languages, none of them English, was thicker than the camera, which looked like something you might get as a prize in a box of Rice Krispies.
There was much talk about "pixels," which I surmised were the genies that inhabited the interior of the camera and captured images as film would, only much more mysteriously.
The Great Leap Forward for digital cameras, of course, is that you can "download" your blurry pictures of people missing the tops of their heads to your computer, where they will be lost forever. To accomplish this, I needed, as I recall, six long wires, including the three-pronged orange extension cord that is usually reserved for Christmas lights. Because all the electrical outlets were taken up by the computer and its various accessories, the cord stretched from my office into the kitchen, requiring us not only to unplug the coffeemaker but also to bend over backwards, limbo-style, any time we needed to refresh our drinks, something we did quite often during those first halcyon hours of digital imaging.
I don't know where the digital camera is now. Probably in the garage with the crusted paint cans and the mud dauber nests and the various rusted drivers, wedges and putters that at one time promised to resurrect my golf game but only led me farther down the path of cynicism and dark despair.
When I take pictures now (which, admittedly, is not often due to the fact that my particular brand of portraiture is decreasingly in demand) I take them with an old 35-mm camera that I've had since college. (The raccoon coat, alas, is no more.)
The photos are not good, but I don't need an instruction manual or extension cords to get the job done.
And, quite frankly, I think the guy in the photo department at Walgreens is glad for the company.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor David Grimes is a columnist for The Sarasota Herald Tribune. Comment by clicking here.
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