• The Princeton Review released its annual Top Party Schools list of American universities and Tulane, West Virginia, Wisconsin and Colorado led the list. For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand one hundred thousand dollars from you, or they will send your kid back.
• Lindsay Graham proposed an Obamacare replacement bill giving states the money to provide health care. No one's in a hurry to fix anything. Whether they fix health care, cut taxes, secure the border or not, Congress still gets paid their full salary under the Americans with No Abilities Act.
• Facebook will give Congress the ads that were bought by Russians last year to see if they tried to sway the election. Facebook did NOT give Congress its daily news Trending lists which in the way the headlines were slanted provided non-stop ads for Hillary. They fought the Russians to a draw.
• The London Guardian reports Amazon's algorithm is inadvertently recommending products that can be used to make home-made bombs. It's done automatically by e-mail. Customers first start to receive You Might Like ads for Semtex and alarm clocks when they purchase a Koran online.
• Stephen King's movie It topped the box office a second week and looked en route to being the top-grossing horror movie of all time. The influence of this movie genre can be seen in high school yearbooks today. Class Clown used to go to the funniest person in school, now it goes to the scariest.
• The Toronto Film Festival premiered a movie about Chappaquiddick when Ted Kennedy ran his car off a bridge and killed Mary Jo Kopechne. In true Hollywood fashion, the film doesn't blame the tragedy on Teddy's drinking. They blame it on ice on the bridge caused by climate change.
• Fortune magazine reports the Institute of Policy Studies released a study Tuesday forecasting that black Americans and Latino Americans will be dead broke within a few decades. It's a dream come true. Once they are dead broke they will have finally achieved economic equality with the whites.
• The American Medical Association released a study on abuse of opioids such as Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, street heroin and fentanyl. The bad news is that opioid use will shorten your lifespan by two and a half months. The good news is, the last ten weeks of your life are completely pain-free.
• Hobby Lobby angered minorities by selling cotton on branches as a decorative home bouquet Monday. To prevent any more controversy, the store won't display its annual Halloween tableau of a witch crashing her broom into a tree. They don't want to offend Hillary Clinton voters or Asians.
• President Trump was bold at the UN, knowing he doesn't have to bomb North Korea to destroy it. He knows the U.S. has a secret weapon that can disrupt North Korea's Internet reception, communications command and social media access. And that secret weapon is called Windows Vista.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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