Hurricane Irma crossed the Atlantic headed to the Eastern Seaboard Monday. When will they stop giving them friendly names like Harvey and Irma? Call just one of them the Megatron Death Storm and everybody would evacuate without needing one word of encouragement from the governor.
• Buckingham Palace announced Duchess Kate is pregnant with her and Prince William's third child in four years. It's called leading by example. Some people sit around and complain England could become a Muslim-majority country, while others lie down and go to work solving the problem.
• The Chicago Sun-Times reports Chicago had over thirty shootings and four shooting fatalities over Labor Day weekend. The FBI says ninety percent of all murders are committed by men. So if feminists really want to make a difference in this world, they're going to have to step up their game.
• The Walt Disney Company announced Friday that it's going to open a Star Wars themed hotel at each of its Disney theme park properties. Tie-ins with popular movies really attract families to theme parks. A Hunger Games theme park will soon open up in South Korea, it's called North Korea.
• President Trump threatened to cut off trade with countries that trade with North Korea Sunday and that includes China. Just picture the consequences of a cut-off of trade with China. We might finally get through self-checkout at Wal-Mart without needing assistance if they have nothing to sell.
• Postal Service inspectors arrested a dozen letter carriers for taking bribes from drug dealers to deliver large quantities of cocaine to customers in Atlanta. They were using the product as well. The inspectors got suspicious when all their mail was delivered correctly and an hour and a half early.
• CNN released the contents of a gracious and supportive letter that President Obama left for President Trump inside the Oval Office desk last January. What a transition. It marked the first time in history that a billionaire moved into federal housing that had been vacated by a black family.
• The White House vowed to work together with House and Senate leaders Monday to get things done for the American people by the end of the session. However, the first order of business could be Pacific defense. President Trump just promised to build a ceiling and make North Korea pay for it.
• San Francisco firefighters were turned away at the Russian embassy gate Saturday after black smoke began pouring out of the chimney that could be seen for miles around. The black smoke coming out of the Russian embassy has Americans so excited. They've just selected our next president.
• President Trump asked the White House press corps for suggestions as to which charity to donate his million-dollar Hurricane Harvey relief donation. It all provides a rare bi-partisan feel-good moment. Hillary Clinton will donate the royalties to her new book to the victim of Hurricane Comey.
• The Southern Poverty Law Center listed all Confederate monuments in the U.S. that it vows to remove. They also targeted Army bases named for Southern generals. There should be a place on the organ donor card that allows you to leave your middle finger to the Southern Poverty Law Center.
• Princess Diana's death was marked on its twentieth anniversary by fans bearing flowers to the palace gates as was the custom for a month after her mysterious car crash. If Facebook had been around back then we'd have quickly figured out who engineered her death. It was the flower industry.
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