Home
In this issue
December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 4, 2013/ 29 Elul, 5773

Good Roger vs. Bad Roger on Syria

By Roger Simon



JewishWorldReview.com | "We will smite Syria swiftly but prudently," Good Roger said. "Ferociously but cautiously. With abandon but with restraint. And if our red line is crossed again, we have crimson, magenta and puce lines to back them up."

"Have you been sniffing the printer toner again?" Bad Roger asked. "You are beginning to sound like a foreign policy wonk."

"We must stop the needless, senseless, indefensible murder of children," Good Roger said. "The United States must act to stop the slaughter of the innocent."

"You're talking about that 1-year-old boy shot to death in his stroller in Brooklyn on Sunday night, right?" Bad Roger said. "I totally agree the United States should stop such slaughter."

"I am talking about Syria!" Good Roger shouted. "We must protect the children of Syria."

"Totally agree," Bad Roger said. "But the 197 children age 12 or younger who are shot to death every year on average in America each year are worth protecting, too, aren't they? Maybe our government ought to do something about them."

"The Second Amendment gives Americans the right to shoot other Americans!" Good Roger said, a vein pulsing in his forehead. "But Syria doesn't have the Second Amendment. So we can kill Syrians to keep them from killing other Syrians!"

"I see you have been watching cable news again," Bad Roger said, "because your logic has become impeccable."

Good Roger is the decent, sincere, well-meaning side of me. Nobody much likes him. Bad Roger is the snarky, sarcastic, cynical side of me. People often buy him drinks.

Good Roger starting madly leafing through his book of quotations for a devastatingly apt response to Bad Roger. Good Roger has kept the book ever since he heard that George Will never goes on TV without deft and witty quotations written on his shirt sleeves.

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me," Good Roger said. "Also: Bounces off rubber and sticks to glue."

"There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action," Bad Roger said.



"Is that a quotation?" Good Roger asked.

"Yes, from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe," Bad Roger said.

"Is he an American?" Good Roger asked.

"No, a foreigner, so you can bomb him with impunity," Bad Roger said. "He also has been dead for 181 years."

"Excellent," Good Roger said. "That will make him an easier target."

"Can we stop talking about this?" Bad Roger said. "There is a 'Duck Dynasty' marathon on A&E that I don't want to miss."

"I am not done quoting," Good Roger said. "'Speak softly and carry a big stick.' Teddy Roosevelt said that 112 years ago this week."

"But he didn't say take your big stick to Congress, where it can be whittled down to 535 little sticks with pointy heads to match the pointy heads of our legislators," Bad Roger said.

"Congress is a cornerstone of democracy!" Good Roger said.

"Congress is an anvil around the neck of democracy," said Bad Roger. "It has a lower approval rating than bad breath. And President Obama decides to turn over his foreign policy to Congress for its approval? Pure folly."

"Au contraire," Good Roger retorted, believing that using French proves you are an intellectual. "If Congress refuses to back the president's attack on Syria, Congress will get the blame."

"In Libya, Obama led from behind," Bad Roger said. "In Syria, Obama is letting a bunch of behinds lead him."

"A leader must have the support of his people," Good Roger said. "President Obama grew very worried when the British Parliament refused to back an attack on Syria."

"If George Washington had worried about what the British Parliament wanted, we all would be driving on the left side of the road today," Bad Roger said. "And have bad teeth."

"There is no talking to you," Good Roger said. "Besides, 'The Ed Show' is coming on, and I have to get ready to take notes."

"This decision to go to Congress has badly split this administration," said Bad Roger. "I saw John Kerry the other day, and I said, 'Why the long face?'"

"You can't say a thing like that!" Good Roger sputtered.

"I can say anything," Bad Roger said. "I'm Bad Roger."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and in the media consider "must reading." Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.




Comment on Roger Simon's column by clicking here.

Roger Simon Archives

© 2013, Creators Syndicate.

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles

Quantcast