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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 8, 2011 / 8 Elul, 5771

Light up your lottery tickets, pass the Hopium

By John Kass

John Kass


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Despite his disastrous poll numbers, things could be even worse for President Barack Obama.

So before we dwell on his political problems leading up to his speech Thursday before Congress, let's think him some happy thoughts.

Let's light up a state lottery ticket and use it as a match to fire up one of the last remaining bowls of Hopium in America.

One thing Obama has going for him is the nature of his opponents. Most Republican candidates insist that America can fight wars without raising taxes to pay for them, and they refuse to talk about cutting the military.

In this, they resemble those goofy bobblehead dolls passed out at ballparks. But as their heads wobble, Obama keeps his fixed with laserlike precision on the teleprompter before him.

The man might not know how to stimulate an economy — or buy real estate without asking Tony Rezko — but he sure can read a teleprompter.

Even Obama's Republican enemies know there's no one as smooth ashe. So what will be in his political speech?

I figure the president from Chicago — with all those City Hall types crouching around him — will revert to a tried-but-true, big-city Democratic machine political solution:

Print oodles of federal money and throw it at powerful interest groups. And which groups?

The bridge contractors and asphalt kings and the road builders, the heavy equipment renters of bulldozers and the no-necks who buy and sell concrete for America's highways.

My crystal ball tells me he'll unveil the Obama Jobs Program, rather than a whoozda-guy-who-getzda-subcontracts program, but here's hoping that investigative reporters start knocking on the door of Illinois Republican and U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood to see a list of the colorful subcontractors.

I wonder how many of them know their way around Chicago?

Can't you picture them meeting quietly in a mahogany-paneled boardroom on LaSalle Street, near City Hall, watching Obama's speech on a big plasma TV.

I imagine men of respect in dark suits, with pitchers of ice water set out before them on a gleaming conference table. Also on the table are a few bowls of fruit and nuts, and naturally they've brought their own nutcrackers.

"I toljas he unnerstands politics," one of the guys might say, tossing some cracked nuts into his mouth, and the others would nod sagely.

And some bright whippersnapper-of-a-historian just might call it Obama's "Pinkie Ring Speech" in recognition of the key constituencies.

The president also has another thing going for him. He hasn't been completely abandoned by the news media that helped elect him.

To know this, all you had to do was scan the news coverage of his Labor Day tuneup speech in Detroit.

"We're going to see if congressional Republicans can put country before party," he told more than 10,000 union members. Just like a guy who'd never put his party before country.

But what wasn't mentioned in many of the news accounts was that Teamster union boss Jimmy Hoffa (the living one) was Obama's opening act. As Hoffa warmed up the crowd, Hoffa redefined civility in politics.

"We got to keep an eye on the battle that we face: the war on workers. And you see it everywhere, it is the tea party. And you know, there is only one way to beat and win that war.

"President Obama, this is your army. We are ready to march. Everybody here has got a vote. If we go back, we keep the eye on the prize, let's take these son of a bitches out and give America back to an America where we belong."

Take these son of a bitches out?

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. You might have been standing in Michigan, but that's so the Chicago Way, isn't it?

What would happen if a fiscal conservative said something half as dumb while warming up a crowd before a Ron Paul speech?

It would lead network news. And prize-winning essayists would sigh at the knuckle draggers and appear on "The Today Show" to bemoan the anger in our politics, perhaps even racism. And Matt Lauer would wag his finger full of gravitas and bite his lips in frustration.

But since taking out "these son of a bitches" benefits Obama, oh, we'll just forget about it.

After listing all those positives for the president, there is one negative. It wasn't on the list of leading economic indicators, but it did make news recently in USA Today.

The newspaper reported that across the country, state lottery ticket sales have increased and that 17 states set all-time records.

These include key political states, including Pennsylvania and Ohio. Illinois was also among the 17, with a 3 percent increase.

And that doesn't count the new Chicago-owned casino, where government bets against its own people.

The old state lottery model was that only the poorest of the poor wasted their money on lottery tickets. But that's changed. If you buy gas, you'll see desperate middle-class men and women, people who drive sedans, buying tickets.

Once, they'd drop a dollar for a ticket and joke about sharing the winnings with the attendant. But they don't joke anymore. They buy their tickets quietly and drive off chewing their guts out with worry, just like all of us.

So light all the lottery tickets you wish, light them like candles against economic darkness. And smoke whatever Hopium remains in your bowls.

But when Americans buy lottery tickets for economic salvation, it means one thing: The president is in the kind of trouble that no speech can fix.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

John Kass is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Comments by clicking here.



Previously:



08/31/11: It was only a paper moon , but a legendary hoax
05/27/11: For 2012, it's Obama vs. the smoothies
05/05/11: Is it time to de-friend Pakistan?
04/12/11: China stretches the bounds of decency with cow-human-breast milk
03/23/11: No you're not in control; get over it
02/28/11: Chicago wanted a strongman, and it got one
01/26/11: Oh, c'mon, c'mon, Rahm-bo a victim? That's a stretch
12/13/10: WikiLeaks and Assange pretend there are no consequences
12/09/10: Trendy toys don't stand up to playthings of yore
10/11/10: Obama and his pals need some scarce Hopium for the next election
09/14/10: Obama gets a little bossy with tacit endorsement of Emanuel
08/18/10: Dead Meat walking, but heat to be applied again
07/28/10: No verdict, but Blagojevich trial still has its winners, losers
07/26/10: Obama's fall guy in Shirley Sherrod case is Vilsack the Pooh
07/21/10: Loathing of Steinbrenner softens after his death
07/19/10: Summertime, and the race cards are easy
06/28/10: Does Congress have the guts to fix what court gutted? Honestly, no
12/17/09: Belt-tightening presidential aspirant leaves room for Spam
09/27/09: ACORN can teach the GOP a thing or 2
09/03/09: Blago as author gets it wrong yet again 06/22/09: Obama's latest political play should shock no one
06/17/09: Presidential satire takes Hopium break
06/11/09: E-Verify works, so, of course, let's not use it
06/09/09: First Lady Macbeth's the man, so in your face, Eminem
06/02/09: Judge Sotomayor would think me most unwise
05/12/09: Parents, enjoy this time, in all its creepiness
03/18/09: Stem cell policy shift brings a sinking feeling
03/09/09: Name That Blago Book contest names its winner
03/05/09: Contest: Name Blagojevich's book
02/16/09: Dems undercut aid for U.S. workers
01/20/09: Let the carving begin on Tombstone's tomb
01/12/09: Obama serves Reid taste of Chicago Way
01/02/09: Jesters don't pick up the race card in a nationally televised news conference and slam it into the face of every Dem in the Senate, a palm heel strike to the tip of the nose, leaving all of them watery-eyed, their lips stinging
12/24/08: Governor waxes poetic, but Combine rolls on
12/23/08: Got corruption? Get Jesse Junior G-Man
12/18/08: Will ‘feditis’ spread to Obama and Daley?
12/15/08: Man behind curtain is wizard of Rod, Rahm

© 2011, Chicago Tribune. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

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