Jewish World Review Sept. 15, 2011 / 16 Elul, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Texas Governor Rick Perry was attacked by all the GOP candidates at Monday's GOP debate. He was stubborn, belligerent and he mispronounced some words. The next morning Iran released two U.S. hostages and wondered aloud why we can't all just get along.
Rick Perry was attacked by many of the other GOP presidential candidates Monday for calling Social Security a big Ponzi scheme. Everyone hopes this isn't true. If Social Security turns out to be a big Ponzi scheme, Ruth Madoff could go to jail for double-dipping.
Saudi Arabia ruled Monday that women may work as sales clerks in Victoria's Secret in Riyadh but only with a dark screen around the stores. Saudis don't mind lingerie being sold as long as no one sees women working. They are a proud people with a porn addiction.
California lawmakers sent a bill to the governor's desk on Tuesday which would give college aid to illegal aliens. It helps immigrant families to move up. Thanks to this bill, today's fully-employed farmworker can become tomorrow's unemployed college graduate.
Jackie Kennedy ripped Martin Luther King in her just-published memoirs for organizing sex parties in the Sixties. The timing is no accident. People are so turned off by that giant scowling statue of him on the National Mall that Democrats are scrambling to highlight his lighter side.
Porsche introduced a new a super-charged gasoline-electric hybrid Monday that will go from zero to sixty miles-an-hour in three seconds. That's just the gasoline-powered engine. The electricity panel is powerful enough to elect the next three governors of Texas.
President Obama was hailed by liberals Tuesday when a report showed that seventy percent of his federal judge nominees were either racial minorities or women. White males get no respect. On Monday night New England Patriot receiver Wes Welker took a short pass and ran ninety-nine yards for a touchdown and got flagged for delay of game.
Women's Wear Daily reported that New England Patriot Tom Brady's supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen made forty million dollars last year, double his salary. It makes NFL stadium security even tighter. President Obama is going up and down the East Coast with a vacuum cleaner sucking cash out of Americans who are making more than their fair share.
Mitt Romney drew cheers at the GOP debate Monday as he vowed to return Winston Churchill's bust to the Oval Office. Good show! If the world were a network television lineup the sitcom starring the Anglo-Saxons would be called Everybody Loves Imperialism.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton