Jewish World Review Sept. 14, 2011 / 15 Elul, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Jackie Kennedy's tapes reveal JFK tried to calm her about Martin Luther King's hotel room orgies. He told her sex parties were no big deal. If Bill Clinton had known JFK said this he would have used it instead of the Ask Not quotation over the entrance to his library.
President Obama visited a New York soup kitchen on the anniversary of the World Trade Center attack Sunday. He didn't want people to think he was just mourning bond traders. He was also there to pick up fundraising tips from the panhandlers in the soup kitchen line.
President Obama appeared in the Rose Garden with police, firefighters, teachers and nurses. He urged Congress to pass his jobs bill. Last Thursday he gave an impassioned speech proposing a jobs bill and afterwards everybody agreed it was a great football game.
Wall Street fell three percent after President Obama's Thursday speech and fell two hundred points after Monday's speech. This is a problem. Fox News could be charged with insider trading just for revealing the time and date of President Obama's next speech.
Libyans couldn't find Moammar Kadaffi Monday a month after they overthrew him. He's seventy, he's had Botox injections and he dyed his hair to look younger. His goal is to look good enough to get a show on the Oprah Winfrey Network where no one will ever find him.
Switzerland was rated the world's top competitive economy by the World Economic Forum survey Friday. It measures a nation's technological competence and its labor force effectiveness. The U.S. would have won but India and Mexico demanded screen credit.
The FBI raided the bankrupt Solyndra solar plant in California Friday after it got half a billion in federal green energy loans. They're an innovator in green energy. Someone finally invented a way to light homes by burning cash without involving a second mortgage.
Al Gore will launch a TV blitz Thursday called Twenty-Four Hours of Reality and he's asking everyone on Facebook to link their Facebook walls to his show to help save the planet. This shows Al doesn't understand the Facebook crowd. They will de-friend the planet before they stop blogging their thoughts all day and poking each other commitment-free.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton