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Jewish World Review Now men don't have to work out either By Celia Rivenbark http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Duh Hubby, being a guy-type person, is completely unaware that there's a whole men's shapewear industry out there just itching to get him to give it a try. Instead, he runs six days a week, lifts weights and plays basketball to stay trim. All of which, as I told him, is just so last century. Women, long ago, discovered that even the most flagrant diet foul can be corrected by Spanx. Where does the fat go? Who knows? Who cares? Now, finally, men who have been plagued with beer bellies and love handles can buy "compression T-shirts." Spanx for men promise to deliver a firm chest, flat stomach and "confidence-building support." Not surprisingly, Duh missed the men's shapewear debut at the recent New York Fashion Week. The fashion press, fluffy creatures who probably can't change a tire, rather callously pointed out that no longer would a middle-age man's abdomen evoke the image of "a tube sock filled with gravy." Duh is unimpressed because he thinks the important thing is to be fit and healthy not just hide the flab somewhere only to have to unroll it every night as you sweatily remove your man-Spanx. He's nuttier than squirrel poo, am I right? As someone who has had to lie flat on a bed to zip up her jeans for many years, shapewear is a way of life. It's what separates us from the savages. Duh, like most men, doesn't give a lot of thought to fashion. Biggest fashion puzzler? He comes home from work, where he wore a nice shirt, tie, and dress pants, discovers we're going out, and changes into frayed jeans and a T shirt that says "I'm What Willis Was Talkin' 'Bout." I don't get it. He looked a whole lot more like a night on the town before. "But those were work clothes," he pouts, not even noticing that I'm at that very moment lying on the bed and zipping up some brand new dressy pants. Duh has seen this act so many times he probably thinks that all women have to lie down to get dressed. I don't dare tell him about the world of products that have crossed over: mandals for the feet, guyliner and manscara for eyes, murses to carry daily essentials. There's even a line of pantyhose to make men's legs more shapely and tan. Duh would scoff at all this and, truth be told, I don't really want him to have shapelier calves or longer lashes than I do. I told Duh that I'd order him some Spanx for men so he could finally quit exercising, but then I saw how much they cost: $55 for a wifebeater, $58 for a plain tee. At those prices, that sock full of gravy is looking more appetizing all the time. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here. Hormones rule home of Princess and mom Add some oohing, cooing to your kitchen Tweeting puppy a perfect pet … for twerps Science fair spurs on hyper parents Cat naps aren't all that popular among felines Nightmare in the mall's dead zone America: Cut out the need to be cute Taking a page from a ‘Mad’ mother She's adding truth serum to her Cap'n Crunch Snuggie ensnares another victim, er, admirer Florida can keep its snakes She's homeless . . . but for $95 she can go home with your princess Southern fish experiencing identity crises Monkey baby big business for the small-minded All mommixed up? Try keeping toes in a breath-mint tin Thunder thighs finally get revenge Where would I be without the digested read? Butter buds: Julia and Celia Facebook is for ‘old’ people, too, missy Ch-ch-ch-changes Getting refreshment not berry smooth in age of mass marketing Reality show lowers her IQ to sub-dirt levels Cuddle parties are the latest weird trend Middle school is a whole new game and these players are vicious If the first lady can dig in the dirt, why can't I? Somehow, we've all lost our internal censors Not to rub it in, Barbie, but you're old Some things you probably don't need to know about your friends Big family, big ratings, big mess Fred Mertz for vice president Women and tools are like grease, water Runners are a different breed of folk altogether Don't get all bento out of shape For you, Princess? I'll buy junk Gwyneth P. needs big ol' reality check Reality show amuses yet repels viewer Spying on kid at summer camp awfully fulfilling Stars? Great outdoors? I don't think so Honesty in the name of fashion Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers Trendy new ailment not for everybody What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook? Shagadelic on the dance floor Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing Little wonder many voters are confused Sound bites not easy in Southern I swear it's not my fault Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby Driving under the influence of celebrity Hugged your Webkinz today? Hate mail spawned by humor columns ‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max! Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from? Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Office gossip is protected free speech First-class corpse Song lyrics have only gotten dumber Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care Being a happy human vessel has its limits Who's not your daddy? Phoning for dazzlers Proper spelling begins at home Sick of the waiting room Road signs Halt your motion toward the lotion Sudoku's got my husband's number One short stack of smarts, please Spa me the kids IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness Girls' pajama parties a little different now Welcome back for guilt-free manly man A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs Girls' pajama parties a little different now When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome Ageless icons can't escape their ages Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’ © 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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