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The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
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Jewish World Review
Now men don't have to work out either
By
Celia Rivenbark
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Duh Hubby, being a guy-type person, is completely unaware that there's a whole men's shapewear industry out there just itching to get him to give it a try. Instead, he runs six days a week, lifts weights and plays basketball to stay trim.
All of which, as I told him, is just so last century. Women, long ago, discovered that even the most flagrant diet foul can be corrected by Spanx. Where does the fat go? Who knows? Who cares?
Now, finally, men who have been plagued with beer bellies and love handles can buy "compression T-shirts." Spanx for men promise to deliver a firm chest, flat stomach and "confidence-building support."
Not surprisingly, Duh missed the men's shapewear debut at the recent New York Fashion Week. The fashion press, fluffy creatures who probably can't change a tire, rather callously pointed out that no longer would a middle-age man's abdomen evoke the image of "a tube sock filled with gravy."
Duh is unimpressed because he thinks the important thing is to be fit and healthy not just hide the flab somewhere only to have to unroll it every night as you sweatily remove your man-Spanx. He's nuttier than squirrel poo, am I right?
As someone who has had to lie flat on a bed to zip up her jeans for many years, shapewear is a way of life. It's what separates us from the savages.
Duh, like most men, doesn't give a lot of thought to fashion. Biggest fashion puzzler? He comes home from work, where he wore a nice shirt, tie, and dress pants, discovers we're going out, and changes into frayed jeans and a T shirt that says "I'm What Willis Was Talkin' 'Bout." I don't get it. He looked a whole lot more like a night on the town before.
"But those were work clothes," he pouts, not even noticing that I'm at that very moment lying on the bed and zipping up some brand new dressy pants. Duh has seen this act so many times he probably thinks that all women have to lie down to get dressed.
I don't dare tell him about the world of products that have crossed over: mandals for the feet, guyliner and manscara for eyes, murses to carry daily essentials. There's even a line of pantyhose to make men's legs more shapely and tan. Duh would scoff at all this and, truth be told, I don't really want him to have shapelier calves or longer lashes than I do.
I told Duh that I'd order him some Spanx for men so he could finally quit exercising, but then I saw how much they cost: $55 for a wifebeater, $58 for a plain tee. At those prices, that sock full of gravy is looking more appetizing all the time.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services
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