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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

A text is worth 1,000 words

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It seems a tad unfair that Duh Hubby must live in a house with two females who are at exact opposite ends of the, er, hormonal spectrum.

In this corner, weighing in at 100 pounds, with thicker hair than I ever had (not that I'm jealous 'cause that would be creepy), and carping about her unreasonable bedtime, is the Princess, 13. In this corner, cursing loudly about the temperature of the room and simultaneously eating Pringles straight from an upturned can that sprays chip shards all over the floor, is me. Yeah, who wouldn't want to live with us? We're a pretty picture.

In all fairness, the Princess is handling the hormonal shift way better than I am. Most days. But then there are the days when we must tiptoe around one another's mood swings on little cat feet.

Me: "Princess, can you take the trash out?"

P: "Moooooooommmmmmm, you know I just straightened my hair and it took me, like, forever."

Me: "And does that render you unable to take the trash out ... sweetie?"

P: (calmly and slowly, as though talking to a simpleton) "It's just that you always ask me to do stuff when I've got other stuff to do."

Me: "It'll only take a minute. God, it's hot in here. I mean it's just taking the trash out and placing it in the can. I'm not asking you to WALK TEN MILES TO THE LANDFILL AND PERSONALLY DELIVER IT TO THE GUY WITH THE ONE EYE IN THE CENTER OF HIS FOREHEAD!"

P: "You're making that up. And it's kinda mean. And why do I have to go to bed at nine-thirty on a school night when nobody else does?"

Me: "And if everyone else ..."

P: "I swear if the next words you say involve walking off cliffs, I am going to LOSE IT!"

Me:

P: "OK, I'll take out the trash. But I have to send a few dozen texts first. They'll be going to a bunch of kids you don't know and probably wouldn't approve of and they'll include a lot of abbreviations you don't understand because you're like a hundred years old not to mention very sweaty lately..."

OK, that's not a direct quote, but it's close. Actually, I don't mind the texting so much. This summer, I've embraced texting because I've discovered that you can pick up your kid WITHOUT LEAVING YOUR CAR. I just sit out front at the appointed pick-up location, text "I'm here" and I don't even have to interact with another human being. In my pajamas. It is glorious. Gone is the forced small talk with some parent you barely know. "I'm here." Done.

Hair angst is a recurring theme for both of us. Bows, barrettes, and bands are placed carefully then jerked out and tossed across the room accompanied by foot stomping and shrieking. And if you think that's bad, you should see how the Princess acts about HER hair.

It's OK. At the end of the day, no matter what, the same text says it all. From her to me, and me to her, "I'm here."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.


Ready for some laughs again
Now men don't have to work out either
Hormones rule home of Princess and mom
Add some oohing, cooing to your kitchen
Tweeting puppy a perfect pet … for twerps
Science fair spurs on hyper parents
Cat naps aren't all that popular among felines
Nightmare in the mall's dead zone
America: Cut out the need to be cute
Taking a page from a ‘Mad’ mother
She's adding truth serum to her Cap'n Crunch
Snuggie ensnares another victim, er, admirer
Florida can keep its snakes
She's homeless . . . but for $95 she can go home with your princess
Southern fish experiencing identity crises
Monkey baby big business for the small-minded
All mommixed up? Try keeping toes in a breath-mint tin
Thunder thighs finally get revenge
Where would I be without the digested read?
Butter buds: Julia and Celia
Facebook is for ‘old’ people, too, missy
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Getting refreshment not berry smooth in age of mass marketing
Reality show lowers her IQ to sub-dirt levels
Cuddle parties are the latest weird trend
Middle school is a whole new game and these players are vicious
If the first lady can dig in the dirt, why can't I?
Somehow, we've all lost our internal censors
Not to rub it in, Barbie, but you're old
Some things you probably don't need to know about your friends
Big family, big ratings, big mess
Fred Mertz for vice president
Women and tools are like grease, water
Runners are a different breed of folk altogether
Don't get all bento out of shape
For you, Princess? I'll buy junk
Gwyneth P. needs big ol' reality check
Reality show amuses yet repels viewer
Spying on kid at summer camp awfully fulfilling
Stars? Great outdoors? I don't think so
Honesty in the name of fashion
Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers
Trendy new ailment not for everybody
What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook?
Shagadelic on the dance floor
Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing
Little wonder many voters are confused
Sound bites not easy in Southern
I swear it's not my fault
Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else
Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em
Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby
Driving under the influence of celebrity
Hugged your Webkinz today?
Hate mail spawned by humor columns
‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max!
Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from?
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Office gossip is protected free speech
First-class corpse
Song lyrics have only gotten dumber
Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care
Being a happy human vessel has its limits
Who's not your daddy?
Phoning for dazzlers
Proper spelling begins at home
Sick of the waiting room
Road signs
Halt your motion toward the lotion
Sudoku's got my husband's number
One short stack of smarts, please
Spa me the kids
IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation
Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
Welcome back for guilt-free manly man
A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome
Ageless icons can't escape their ages
Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy

Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’

© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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