Jewish World Review Sept. 23, 2010 / 15 Tishrei, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad arrived at the United Nations in New York Tuesday to address the U.N. General Assembly. He began his speech by declaring that Iran is a free nation and a peaceful nation. It's always best to open with a joke.
White House chief economic adviser Larry Summers announced he's quitting Tuesday. He will return to Harvard to teach. The Cambridge police have been notified that another Harvard professor is coming home and not to bother him at the door if his key sticks.
President Obama attended St. John's Episcopal Church in Washington Sunday. A brass plate marks the president's pew on the ninth row. Workers were up all night putting the Apostle's Creed, three hymns and the confession on the Teleprompter and mounting it on the back of the eighth row.
Don Rumsfeld announced Monday his memoirs will be published in January. He favored fighting on in Vietnam, invading Iraq and Afghanistan, and pressing on into Syria and Iran. If this book isn't being published by Viking Press it's a missed opportunity for synergy.
The Food and Drug Administration considered approval of genetically-engineered salmon Tuesday. The fish has the ability to swim upstream against strong currents. If the Obama administration can't find Democrats who can win in November, they will create them.
Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. was outed in court testimony Tuesday for pressuring a Chicago lobbyist to buy him a U.S. Senate seat and pay his mistress's airfare to Washington. His excuse is rock-solid. He was just trying to earn his Congressional Black Caucus merit badge.
House Democrats announced plans Monday to hold hearings on gold brokerage firms in the wake of this week's record-high gold prices. However, cocaine is worth three times the price of gold by weight. It's got G. Gordon Liddy scratching his nose and rethinking his investment strategy.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton