Jewish World Review Sept. 20, 2010 / 12 Tishrei, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Jimmy Carter told CBS News Thursday that Senator Teddy Kennedy killed his health care reform bill thirty years ago to deny him credit for it. Don't blame the senator. The health care reform bill knew better than to get into the car with Teddy when he'd been drinking.
The White House released data showing that one hundred thousand homes a month are being repossessed and one in seven Americans live in poverty. Even the rich are getting nervous. The new super-charged Porsche Carrera is a two-seater, one's a bed and one's a toilet.
The N.Y. Jets apologized for their locker room sexual harassment of Mexican TV reporter Ines Sainz. It became an international incident. The Obama administration was ready to defend the Mexican sportscaster in court but it turns out she entered the locker room legally.
The Weather Channel reported a tornado warning in New York Thursday. High winds and lightning and thunderstorms battered Central Park as funnel clouds formed above. At four o'clock the wind reache
d tornado force and blew the hair off the roof of Trump Tower.
Michael Jackson's mother filed suit against an L.A. concert promoter Thursday for medical neglect. The singer was on a mix of seven painkillers and sedatives when he died. Today there is a statue of Michael Jackson in Hollywood thanking him for trying to re-invent the Quaalude.
France's first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy was quoted Thursday saying Michelle Obama told her she hates being first lady of the United States. That is demonstrably untrue. Michelle Obama loves the United States or she wouldn't return to the United States every six weeks.
Al-Qaeda ordered an assassination hit on cartoonist Molly North Tuesday for sponsoring a Draw the Prophet Mohammed contest for cartoonists. The FBI issued a statement saying they can't protect her. They're under presidential orders to protect the Prophet Mohammed.
South Dakota officials said Friday Amish families are moving to South Dakota to get their families out of Pennsylvania. Some of the Amish teenagers in Lancaster have become engaged in drug dealing. They're the ones you see going down the streets in horse-drawn Escalades.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton