Jewish World Review Sept. 8, 2010 / 29 Elul, 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Al Gore had a public school named after him in Los Angeles Monday which sits on contaminated soil. The ground is toxic and there's an oil well across the street. However the boys' locker room will have a masseuse as soon as she signs the confidentiality agreement.
Tony Blair canceled a book-signing appearance at a London bookstore Monday when anti-Iraq War protesters threatened to pelt him with eggs when he got there. He avoided an unwinnable situation by simply refusing to go in there. So you can teach an old dog new tricks.
John McCain told Fox News Sunday any tax cuts proposed by President Obama would be a deathbed conversion. He knows all about those. The anti-immigration-reform John McCain looked great after last week's Senate primary win over the pro-immigration-reform John McCain.
President Obama gave a speech honoring Labor Day Monday in Milwaukee. The holiday has become a pretty grim occasion. Labor Day used to be a celebration honoring the American worker and today we pause to remember the Chinese who died sewing for our country.
President Obama gave a fiery speech to a union crowd in Milwaukee Monday where he lashed out at Republicans, saying that Republicans treat him like a dog. That's so untrue. First of all, Republicans love their dogs, and second, all their dogs have papers.
President Obama's new Oval Office rug, ringed by six quotes calling for the welfare of all, was found to be error-prone by author Susan Shelley Friday. The MLK quote wasn't his and the Teddy Roosevelt quote was a defense of rich people's rights. What's worse, the rug faces Richmond, not Mecca.
The Labor Department reported last week that the U.S. economy lost three hundred thousand jobs last quarter. It's affecting migration patterns. This year twenty percent of all college students decided to go to Mexico for Spring break, the rest went there for a new life.
North Korean leader Kim Jong Il held a meeting in Pyongyang Monday to anoint his son to be his successor on his death. Right now the father drinks two quarts of Cognac a day, takes Viagra and dates teenage girls. He'd like to retire to the front row of Laker games and sit with his peers.
White House staffers told CBS News Sunday they fear that a GOP Congress will investigate ACORN for fraud and the Black Panthers for voter intimidation if they take over the House this fall. No one knows what Obama can do to prevent a GOP landslide. This would be a really good time for Iran's leaders to rent Wag the Dog.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton