Jewish World Review Sept. 7, 2010 / 28 Elul, 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Chicago dentist William DeJean financed a TV commercial urging Hillary Clinton to challenge Obama for president in two years. It was the dentist's idea. It takes a guy with access to laughing gas to figure out a way for Democrats to hold onto the White House next election.
President Obama summoned Tim Geithner back to Washington from vacation Friday to help advisers devise an emergency economic stimulus measure. Before drawing up a plan they all agreed the plan must abide by one ground rule. Leaving people the hell alone is not an option.
President Obama's personal approval rating was ten points below Bill Clinton's personal approval rating in the polls last week. Apparently there's more public sympathy for an adulterer than a socialist. Everyone's tempted to cheat but nobody's tempted to share.
The Census Bureau reported Thursday that the U.S. population actually declined in the last quarter. A big factor is the reduced number of immigrants. At the rate immigration is declining, within three years we could see Americans back at shortstop and third base.
The Mexican Army mobilized in northern Mexico Thursday to try to defeat the violent drug cartels. The mobilization amounts to a government surrender. California, New Mexico, Arizona and Texas wouldn't be U.S. states today without the help of the Mexican Army.
Las Vegas hotel magnate Steve Wynn announced Thursday he's banned Paris Hilton from the Wynn Hotel after she was arrested with cocaine in his hotel's lobby. It may be the nicest hotel in the West. The towels are so thick you can barely close your suitcase.
Crocodile Dundee star Paul Hogan flew from his Los Angeles home to Australia Monday where tax agents seized him during his mother's open-casket funeral in Sydney. Governments are the same worldwide. The agents have been suspended for not thinking to get her wedding ring.
Geraldo Rivera marked forty years as a TV investigative reporter Saturday in New York. His post-invasion war reporting got him evicted from Iraq by U.S. generals. This gave Geraldo the distinction of being one of only four men asked to leave Iraq, the other three being Saddam Hussein and his two sons.
The White House ordered the withdrawal of all U.S. combat troops from Iraq last Tuesday which officially ended the Iraq war after seven years. The last U.S. combat troops left Iraq Wednesday. The troops were greeted by parades welcoming them back to Afghanistan.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton