Jewish World Review Sept. 1, 2010 / 22 Elul, 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Obama marked the end of the Iraq war with a nationally televised address Tuesday. It took us seven years to overthrow Saddam Hussein, try him, hang him and bury his past deeds. Even the CIA is not immune to the red tape it requires to fire someone in this day and age.
U.S. combat troops began arriving back home from Iraq Sunday at airports in Miami and Atlanta. Some soldiers got off the planes fully armed with machine guns and full body armor. Those were the ones switching planes for their vacations to Mexico.
President Obama told NBC News Sunday he doesn't care about a Time poll showing one-fourth of Americans think he's Muslim. That explains the renovation project on the Statue of Liberty. Her right hand is being chopped off for stealing North America.
Canadian police arrested a young man from Pakistan Thursday for plotting a suicide bombing a year after he was booed offstage at his audition for Canadian Idol. His plan failed. He thought he'd be greeted by twice as many virgins in heaven if he bombed two times.
The White House ordered the State Department to report Arizona to the U.N. Human Rights Commission Monday. It's President Obama's way of telling Hillary if illegal immigration kills his career, she's going down as well. On the bright side, we learned last week it'll take six strokes off Bill Clinton's golf game if he suddenly finds himself single.
The World Testicle Cooking Contest was held in Serbia Sunday. Local chefs made delicacies out of bull, camel and kangaroo testicles. With each year, President Clinton looks smarter for sticking with the air campaign and never sending U.S. ground troops into Serbia.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton