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Jewish World Review Thunder thighs finally get revenge By Celia Rivenbark http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Happy, happy, joy, joy! There is staggeringly good news this week on the health and fitness front. Are you sitting down? I mean, if you're like me, you're almost always sitting down, which isn't such a bad thing, as you're about to learn. According to just-released results of a 12-year study in Denmark, women who have skinny thighs have twice the risk for heart disease of the rest of us. Can I hear a "Nah, nah, nah, NAH, nah"? In your FACE, you supermodels with your spaghetti stems. Somebody please pass the pork fat and let me get on with the very serious business of avoiding a heart attack. The study followed 2,800 people and discovered that the portion of that population with thighs smaller than 23.6 inches in circumference had twice the risk of heart disease. Frankly, I thought 23.6 inches sounded like a LOT of inches but then I got out the old tape measure and guess what? My thighs, which are actually kind of thighnormous, are exactly 23.5 inches. TMI? Yes, I know, but it's all in the name of science, Gomer, try to hang. The study doesn't explain why thicker thighs make a healthier heart but researchers speculated that it could be because thinner people (hereafter referred to as "the damned") have less muscle mass to "initiate the metabolic breakdown of lipids and glucose." Swoon. You had me at "metabolic." There were caveats, of course. Caveat is a Latin word which means "dead person" or "funny neckerchief," I forget which. Anyway, the big caveat is that people who have thighs quite a bit bigger than the delightful and healthful 23.6 inches in circumference (in other words anyone who has ever eaten a turkey leg at Disney World) aren't healthier by nature. They have gotten themselves a bad case of an "overhealthy heart" I suppose. Scientifically speaking, the study finds that a woman who is barely over 5 feet tall and weighs 135 pounds is half as likely to have heart disease as, say, Heidi Klum. Now before all you supermodels get your Versaces in a wad and accuse me of wanting you to have heart problems, let me hasten to say that nothing could be further from the truth. Scurvy maybe, but not heart trouble. This, on the heels of a "Time" magazine cover story titled, "The Myth About Exercise" in which a very learned scholar writes that, while it's good for you, exercise won't make you lose weight. In fact - and this part cracks me up - exercise can actually lead to weight gain because of the notion that you're entitled to a treat after 30 minutes on the elliptical or whatever. Your chickens have come home to roost, you diet-obsessed handwringers. And I want mine fried with a side of tater salad. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here. Where would I be without the digested read? Butter buds: Julia and Celia Facebook is for ‘old’ people, too, missy Ch-ch-ch-changes Getting refreshment not berry smooth in age of mass marketing Reality show lowers her IQ to sub-dirt levels Cuddle parties are the latest weird trend Middle school is a whole new game and these players are vicious If the first lady can dig in the dirt, why can't I? Somehow, we've all lost our internal censors Not to rub it in, Barbie, but you're old Some things you probably don't need to know about your friends Big family, big ratings, big mess Fred Mertz for vice president Women and tools are like grease, water Runners are a different breed of folk altogether Don't get all bento out of shape For you, Princess? I'll buy junk Gwyneth P. needs big ol' reality check Reality show amuses yet repels viewer Spying on kid at summer camp awfully fulfilling Stars? Great outdoors? I don't think so Honesty in the name of fashion Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers Trendy new ailment not for everybody What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook? Shagadelic on the dance floor Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing Little wonder many voters are confused Sound bites not easy in Southern I swear it's not my fault Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby Driving under the influence of celebrity Hugged your Webkinz today? Hate mail spawned by humor columns ‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max! Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from? Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Office gossip is protected free speech First-class corpse Song lyrics have only gotten dumber Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care Being a happy human vessel has its limits Who's not your daddy? Phoning for dazzlers Proper spelling begins at home Sick of the waiting room Road signs Halt your motion toward the lotion Sudoku's got my husband's number One short stack of smarts, please Spa me the kids IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness Girls' pajama parties a little different now Welcome back for guilt-free manly man A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs Girls' pajama parties a little different now When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome Ageless icons can't escape their ages Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’ © 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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