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Jewish World Review Sept. 11, 2008 / 11 Elul 5768 Reality show amuses yet repels viewer By Celia Rivenbark http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Have you seen "Jon and Kate Plus 8," the reality TV show about a Pennsylvania couple who are raising one set of twins and slightly younger sextuplets? While I would've been tempted to just name them Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy, etc. as they kept popping out, Jon and Kate Gosselin aren't the frivolous type. What fascinates — and repels — is the couple's weird dynamic: She kvetches and finishes his sentences; he walks around in a stupor most of the time fretting about his workout or his teeth-whitening or where they should go on vacation. While most fans admit they love the show because of the rambunctious, adorable Gosselin children, I just fast-forward the TiVo through all the kid scenes. Any time I sense a loooong scene of eight kids eating Cheerios for breakfast, I just go "boo-boop" and get back to Jon and Kate chatting on the couch. Really, until those kids are old enough to discuss the environmental impact of offshore drilling, I'll speed through the endless "Ball! My ball! Ball!" arguments. In each episode, Jon and Kate spend a lot of time on a cramped loveseat facing an anonymous interviewer and nudging each other in the ribs (a little too hard, I think) and bantering. A bit player is "Aunt Jodi," a slightly anorexic looking young mom with a penchant for clothes that have that distressing Quacker Factory vibe to them. Jodi once agreed to take care of the eight kids — six of whom HAD THE FLU — while Jon and Kate flew to California for Jon's new hair plugs. When Jon got home and complained about how much his scalp hurt, Jodi would've been within her rights to carve him up like a Christmas ham on the spot but she is way too nice for that. Another bit player is Kate's OCD, which the show exploits endlessly. Watching her yell at the workmen for installing new blinds incorrectly, as in a tiny fraction off center, was downright uncomfortable. Kate is very big on, If You Want Something Done Right, Do It Yourself. Just ask Jon. Who hasn't been able to do anything right in a very long time, possibly ever. We'd feel sorry for him if he wasn't just such a self-absorbed schmoe, surfing the web while Kate cooks endless organic meals and scrubs imaginary dust from the baseboards. If only she'd let him finish a sentence. Jon: "We were going to go ..." Kate: "To the park, but there was a piece of dried bubble gum on the underside of one of the picnic benches so I said we should skedaddle to the museum ..." Jon: "Is skedaddle really a word?" Kate: (giggling) "Shut up you moron." (Jabs him in the ribs til blood comes out of his mouth.) Ratings gold, my friends. Ratings gold. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here. Spying on kid at summer camp awfully fulfilling Stars? Great outdoors? I don't think so Honesty in the name of fashion Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers Trendy new ailment not for everybody What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook? Shagadelic on the dance floor Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing Little wonder many voters are confused Sound bites not easy in Southern I swear it's not my fault Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby Driving under the influence of celebrity Hugged your Webkinz today? Hate mail spawned by humor columns ‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max! Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from? Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Office gossip is protected free speech First-class corpse Song lyrics have only gotten dumber Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care Being a happy human vessel has its limits Who's not your daddy? Phoning for dazzlers Proper spelling begins at home Sick of the waiting room Road signs Halt your motion toward the lotion Sudoku's got my husband's number One short stack of smarts, please Spa me the kids IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness Girls' pajama parties a little different now Welcome back for guilt-free manly man A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs Girls' pajama parties a little different now When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome Ageless icons can't escape their ages Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’ © 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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