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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
Sept. 3, 2008 / 3 Elul 5768
Me for President
By
Tom Purcell
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Now that Barack Obama has a good shot at the presidency, I hold hopes that
maybe I could make it, too.
Though our experiences and talents are entirely different, I, too, came from
humble circumstances. The only boy, with five sisters, I had no brothers to
teach me to fight. My sisters taught me.
One day when I was 12, the neighborhood bully was roughing me up. I gave him
my meanest look and said, "You are soooooo immature! Get a life!"
I was humbled by a lack of money. Despite having no brothers, my father,
always looking to save a buck, made me wear hand-me-downs. It wasn't too bad
most of the year, but Easter Sunday was unpleasant. It was near impossible to
outrun the neighborhood bully with my pantyhose bunching up and my bonnet
flopping in the wind?
Unlike Barack, I had no early interest in politics, the presidency or my
studies, and with good reason the kids who were interested in such things
frequently got wedgies. Instead, I threw myself into sports and extracurricular
activities.
My efforts paid off. My lack of studying and devotion to extracurricular
activities were the ideal preparations for Penn State University. It was there
that I was introduced to my first love: Rolling Rock Beer. By the time I was
a junior, I had attained, to quote comedian Frank Nicotero, a 3.2
(blood-alcohol level).
My father was panicked about my future. I was a liberal arts major, after
all. Worried I'd never find a job, he persuaded me to take more practical
courses. I was the only person ever to graduate from Penn State with a major in
English and a minor in air conditioning and heating.
Despite my ways, I received my degree. Unlike Barack I didn't forgo a
lucrative career to become a community organizer. I took the first job one fool
company was crazy enough to offer me.
I've been stumbling along ever since. Today, I'm an independent writer who
hacks out a living one brutal word after another to pay the onerous taxes that
people like Barack have imposed on us.
It is true I never went to Harvard Law. I certainly wasn't elected president
of the law review, as Barack was. I never held elected office in state
politics and never even tried to run, let alone win, a seat in the U.S. Senate.
But as far as experience for the presidency goes, I'm not a heck of a lot
less qualified than Barack. He has only 143 active days in the Senate more than
I do (his job has mostly been to run for president the past two years).
He never ran a profit-or-loss enterprise of any kind. His record as a
community organizer, lawyer and politician give little indication of boldness,
leadership or results. It's anybody's guess how he might act as president.
Sure, he gives an incredible speech and inspires millions with his presence.
His campaign has been remarkable in numerous respects. He's drawn millions
into the political process.
Sure, despite his relative youth and inexperience, he toppled the Clinton
machine. He is the first black to be nominated for the presidency, no small
achievement and worthy of celebration no matter what one's politics are.
But when you consider the incredible criteria that must be met before taking
on the world's most important job when you consider that many of Barack's
"solutions" involve a much more expansive government you wonder why the
press isn't probing his experience, abilities and ideas a great deal more.
I'm inspired that maybe I could be president, too. I could win votes by
promising stuff to some people by using the might of the federal government to
take money from others to pay for it.
I could easily win Pennsylvania and Ohio, two pivotal states in the upcoming
election. I'd promise federally subsidized Rolling Rock to every beer drinker
who trades me his vote.
Even an inebriated fellow in a pub would know that we're the drinkers we've
been waiting for.
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ARCHIVES
© 2008, Tom Purcell
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