Jewish World Review Sept. 5, 2008 / 5 Elul 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
New Orleans evacuated two hundred thousand people before Hurricane Gustav made landfall Monday. Forty thousand extremely well-armed homeowners remained in the city. Thanks to all the preparation, the price of methamphetamine held at ten dollars a rock.
Abu Dhabi's royal family said Thursday their sovereign wealth fund is going to spend a billion dollars producing Hollywood movies. Don't ask what's in store for them. Let us just say it's fortunate they pray on their knees and not on their chairs.
Rap music mogul Sean Combs said Tuesday that jet fuel is so expensive he's had to ground his private jet and fly commercial. More and more celebrities are having to fly commercial. Mackenzie Phillips could give him some good tips on what not to pack.
America's Research Group said Monday that traditional back-to-school clothing sales were a bust for retailers last week. The back-to-school sales are bound to pick up after the GOP convention. All the girls are going to need maternity clothes.
The New York Post and the New York Daily News were camped out in Alaska Monday gathering every bit of gossip about Sarah Palin they can find. There's so much to cover. Right now Alex Rodriguez could date an underage stripper, bulk up on steroids and assassinate his bookie and no one in New York would hear about it for eight years.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton