Jewish World Review Sept. 4, 2008 / 4 Elul 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Lindsay Lohan wrote Tuesday that people are focusing too much on Sarah Palin's family and not enough on her views. Paris Hilton recently detailed the best energy plan by far. Who'd have ever thought our nation's best think tank is Beverly Hills AA.
Barack Obama said Tuesday he's got more executive experience than Sarah Palin because his campaign staff is so large. He's relaxing in Chicago where he said he might take in a Cubs game at Wrigley Field. Sometimes he enjoys working smaller rooms.
Hurricane Gustav veered into central Louisiana, knocking out power but not much more Monday. Many are upset. Gustav wasn't as strong as Katrina and Gustav didn't have the impact of Katrina, but Gustav still makes twice as much in salary as Katrina.
New York's Mercantile Exchange saw oil prices drop to a five-month low Tuesday after the hurricane spared the gulf rigs. High oil prices are giving way to new concerns. Boone Pickens has been asked to scrap his energy independence plan for America and try to think of a way to make birth control pills taste like French fries.
Sarah Palin was ripped by Democrats Tuesday for flying pregnant and for having a baby and still working. They also called her bloodthirsty for being a hunter. After Bill Clinton addressed the governors' convention he told her he's game, so she shot him.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton