Jewish World Review Sept. 17, 2007 / 5 Tishrei 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The FBI released videotape of fugitive Boston crime boss Whitey Bulger walking the streets of Sicily Friday. It generated a lot of public interest. When the FBI offered a one million dollar reward for Whitey, Al Sharpton didn't know where to begin.
New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick was fined for illegally and secretly taping opposing coaches, and then he stonewalled the press when they confronted him with his guilt. Everyone in Massachusetts completely backs him. The only state that George McGovern carried for president is officially back in the Nixon column.
The Senate Commerce Committee holds hearings today on the NFL retirement system and problems facing injured former players. It's urgent. Union medical insurance doesn't cover all the hands that were lost tossing twenty-dollar bills into the dog pit.
The Air Force stood down Friday after a B-52 accidentally flew over the nation carrying six live nuclear bombs on its wings. It was flying to Louisiana from North Dakota. They may have dropped one on Louisiana but it's hard to tell by looking.
Dallas Cowboys assistant coach Wade Wilson was suspended by the NFL for several weeks for using Human Growth Hormone to treat his impotency. The rules are insane. Last week one player had to give his credit report, his last three tax returns, a urine sample and blood work, and that was just to contribute to Hillary Clinton's campaign.
Rudy Giuliani attacked Hillary Clinton Friday in a new commercial blasting her for questioning General Petraeus in Senate hearings Wednesday. It got ugly. She questioned the general's truthfulness, then offered him a spot on her campaign staff.
Senator Hillary Clinton was endorsed for president by the National Association of Letter Carriers on Wednesday. An endorsement from the letter carriers could mean the kiss of death. Last month they endorsed Michael Vick for executing pit bulls.
The Emmy Awards edited Kathy Griffin's acceptance speech Saturday. She made an obscene reference to Jesus and said her Emmy statue was her god. In Hollywood the Ten Commandments are only posted at the unemployment office, and by then it's too late.
Mattel pressured China on Tuesday to ban lead paint from all toys exported to America. Who knows how many children have been poisoned. In an effort to fight the obesity epidemic, many parents have been encouraging their children to eat their toys.
Senator Larry Craig got a court date Tuesday to allow him to try to erase his arrest for lewd conduct in a public men's room. He's a poor excuse for a lawmaker. Barney Frank would have shrugged off the badge and still picked up the undercover cop.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton