In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 21, 2006 / 28 Elul, 5766

Wisdom gained by accident makes for a safer driver

By Marybeth Hicks

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | When the phone rang at 7:35 on a brilliant spring day last March, I knew it had to be one of two things. Either the mom down the block needed me to pick up her son for school, or something was wrong.

I was right. Something was wrong.

Katie and Betsy had left just five minutes earlier, thirty minutes ahead of the first-hour bell, on a dry and sunny morning. With safe conditions and plenty of time to make the ten minute drive to school, their risks were minimal. They were headed west, so even the sunshine wasn't a factor.

But somehow, they had an accident. Not a big one — no one was injured, thank the Lord. The only casualty was the little Honda Accord we had purchased five months earlier. On the advice of many experienced parents, we bought a car that could be considered "disposable."

When Betsy called, her voice told me all I needed to know. She was obviously upset, but there was no terror; no panic to convey a serious injury. She told me where they were and then hung up to call the police.

When I reached the four lane highway near our neighborhood, a line of cars about a quarter-mile long clogged the road. Virtually all of those drivers shot me dirty looks (and a few expressive digits) as I peeled past them in the left shoulder.

There's no convenient way to say "I'm the mother of the teenage driver who caused this backup." I forged ahead.

When the police officer arrived, Katie was ready with her tearful explanation. "I think something happened with the brakes," she said. "I slammed on them but..." She trailed off in a look of disbelief and bewilderment.

The officer and I looked at Katie and then to the road leading up to her steaming, crumbled front fender. No skid marks.

Clearly, she was quite correct. There was a problem with her brakes — she didn't use them in time to avoid an accident.

(Just to be sure we hadn't permitted our daughter to take to the road in an unsafe vehicle, we asked a mechanic to confirm that the brakes worked before our former Honda made its weary way to the salvage yard).

It took a day or two for the shock of losing the car to sink in. It also took about that long for me to get a true picture of what happened on the way to school that morning.

Getting accurate information from teenagers is easy if you watch enough "Law and Order" episodes. You learn a technique for drawing out the facts — keep asking the same question over and over, varying your phrasing just a bit. Gradually, you uncover details that explain everything.

This is how I found out about the Chap Stick.

Katie had used Chap Stick while sitting at a red light. She dropped the top between the two bucket seats and enlisted her sister to find it. Apparently Betsy didn't take as much interest in finding the top as Katie would have preferred.

By the time they reached the next light, Katie's focus was off the road just long enough to miss the cue conveyed by the brake lights in front of her.

Then, BAM. One minute she's driving, the next we're waving good-bye as the tow truck drags the car to "vehicular afterlife."

It's not as if we didn't discuss the potential for being distracted prior to her becoming a licensed driver. We told Katie how easy it is to divert your focus when you're behind the wheel and we made rules to help minimize distractions, such as no passengers other than her sister and no using the cell phone while she drove.

We forgot to mention Chap Stick.

Of course, we didn't mention a host of things that might take her mind off the road, from biology tests and French assignments to birds in the air and cute guys walking along the roadway. We trusted that she appreciated how critical it is to pay close attention when you're operating a machine as potentially dangerous as an automobile.

This week we finally replaced the third car in our driveway. We had decided not to rush into purchasing another auto — for one thing, there was the money. We also waited until we felt sure Katie had absorbed all the wisdom her driving mishap offered.

She certainly isn't alone in learning the pitfalls of inattention with first-hand experience. According to the National Safety Council, a driver's crash risk is at a lifetime high in the first 12 to 24 months of driving, and one estimate puts the number of new drivers involved in reportable traffic accidents at 14 percent.

Thankfully, the accident my daughter reported was just a fender-bender, and better, the only fender bent beyond repair was ours. In the end, Katie's inattention cost her merely the convenience of having a car at her disposal for a few months.

For some teens, the price of distraction is much higher. The NSC says traffic accidents remain the leading cause of death for Americans aged 15 to 20. While teens account for only 7 percent of drivers, they comprise roughly 14 percent of traffic fatalities.

Knowing these statistics — and many of the stories of grief behind them — makes me unspeakably grateful I have a reason to replace that first car at all.

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JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of 19 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide. To comment, please click here.


© 2006, Marybeth Hicks