Jewish World Review Sept. 13, 2006 / 20 Elul, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Tiger Woods sat in Roger Federer's box at the U.S. Open on Sunday and rooted for the Swiss star against American Andy Roddick. It's no surprise. When you get to Tiger Woods' tax bracket it's always in your personal interest to root for Switzerland.
Paris Hilton said the Hollywood police were very nice when they picked her up for drunk driving last Thursday. She said they had her in and out of the police station in fifteen minutes. She felt really bad charging them, but they said they're not allowed to accept gratuities.
Hillary Clinton spoke at the World Trade Center site Monday. She suspended all campaigning and then went on every cable news show to remind everyone she wasn't campaigning. That night she ran a red light just to get her face on the traffic camera.
ABC agreed to edit its World Trade Center miniseries Sunday. They cut the line that said Bill Clinton was too distracted by Monica Lewinsky. The network didn't want to give Mel Gibson the chance to blame the World Trade Center attack on the Jews.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton